Richard! Go talk to her!
by JustAWriterWannaBe
Summary: It's a few days after Alexis has come home and Martha has to give someone a swift kick to put things back on track. (Renamed and added to.) Kate talks to Alexis to help her.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Notes:**_  
Thank you for reading my story, I hope you enjoy it.  
By all means, please leave me feedback/reviews on this or any of the other stories I've posted here.

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_**Story Notes:**_  
This story takes place right after "Hunt" and Alexis and Richard have been home for a few days.

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_**Disclaimer:**_  
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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"Richard!?" Martha called as she came down the stairs. "Richard? Are you still here?"

"Yes Mother, right here in my office. What are you doing up so early?" He asks.

"Richard, I've been debating something and I finally decided to talk to you about it." his mother says taking a seat in his office.

Sitting up and giving her his undivided attention "I've got a few minutes before I leave for the precinct so shoot. Are you finally moving out?" he says enthusiastically.

She ignores his jibe and dives right in "Normally I'd let you work this out with Kate but I think you need a nudge on this one."

Scanning his memory he tries to guess what she's talking about but comes up with nothing "I don't understand, what's wrong?"

Leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees and looking him squarely in the eyes "That's why I'm here. When you and Alexis got back, everyone's attention was on you two and letting you both decompress and recover but it's been a few days and I saw something in Kate's face when she left last night that makes me think there's something she's not saying and you two need to discuss it. I think she's giving you some space before she talks about it but I suspect it's festering and you need to talk to her about it sooner rather than later."

"Oh." he says quietly, unsure of what might be wrong "I'll go talk to her about it now."

"Good. Thank you." she offers standing and heading for the door.

"Why are you thanking me?" he says taking it lightly.

"I've told you before, we all like her and we don't want you to screw this up." his mother says matter-of-factly without turning around as she heads for her room.

The smile suddenly drops off of his face as he realizes what she's saying as he puts on his coat to head out to see Kate. During the ride to her place he calls her.

"Beckett" she responds without even thinking.

"Kate, you still home?" he asks trying to keep his voice even and trying to prevent the hopefulness from bleeding through.

Sounding a bit confused "Um.. Yeah, I told the guys I was going to take a late start, I needed to do some workouts. Why?"

"That's great, I just arrived at your building. I'll be right up." he says as he ends the call.

She picks herself up off the yoga mat and grabs a towel to wipe the sweat off as she heads for the front door and opens it just as the elevator doors open. "Hey." she offers as he approaches the door.

"Hey yourself." he says giving her a peck on the cheek. She seems a little standoffish so he opts for a gentle approach instead of doing what he wants and smothering her with a long languid kiss.

"Okay, you're here. So what's this all about?" She asks the question but is already avoiding his gaze as she cleans up her yoga mat and packs it away.

"I think I once told you that my mother's a lot smarter than people think right?" he asks taking his coat off.

"Yes you did and I agree, she is."

"Well, she said something this morning that got me thinking and I wanted to talk to you about it."

"I'm not sure I'm qualified to help I don't think I know Martha enough to be able to say anything useful." She says turning to face him finally but from across the room.

"It's not a Martha problem, it's a you and me problem, a Caskett problem." he says smiling at her.

"You like that handle don't you?" she smirks at his use of the term for them as a team.

"Yes I do because it means a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me." He offers as the seriousness takes over his features.

"Then why did you lock me out?" she snaps. Her body still relaxed but the anger flashing in her eyes.

"Why are you doing yoga?" he asks plainly.

"Don't change the subject!"

"I'm not, please answer my question."

"I do it to stay limber and fit for my job."

"And what is your job?"

"Are you _really_ trying to piss me off _more_?" the anger now stiffening her spine and making her ball her fists.

"No Kate, I'm dead serious. I promise you that I'll make it all clear in a minute."

"My job is to hunt down murderers, to bring people to justice, to give families closure, to protect others."

"Do you take it seriously?"

"_I have all my adult life!_ **Now what the hell is this all about Castle?**" she yells finally boiling over.

"It's about that. It is about me. It is about why I made a snap decision that pisses you off so much. It's about why that snap decision was to go after Alexis alone. It's about why I didn't tell you what I was doing or anything else after I stood up in the precinct hallway and told you I had to do it alone. It's about why you're hurt and so ticked off at me now."

"It's fine!" she spits turning on her heel.

"It's obviously not or you wouldn't want to kick my ass and throw me out on my ear right now." he says stopping her in her tracks. She lets out a deep sigh letting her shoulders drop and her head droop. Slowly turning around to face him again she stares expectantly at him.

"Thank you for not dropping this." he says walking over to her. He can see her tighten up, steeling herself against his proximity and just giving in to him. "I may very well have made the wrong decision. I think you understand that I wasn't thinking clearly." He pauses just for a moment while she glares at him and his fingers automatically twiddle with something innocuous. "Okay, _at all_. I can't claim to have been thinking at all. My reaction was more instinct and emotion than anything else."

He now says softly concentrating on his fingers, unable to look her in the face as he continues. "The only thing that crossed my mind was that I had to do _**anything**_ to get my baby back and that this _anything_ I was going to do most likely was going to turn dark and probably illegal. I didn't have a plan but I knew it was going to go way beyond the law or maybe even morals would normally permit and I didn't care."

He takes another cleansing breath and continues "At the time I thought that it was wrong for me to ask you to throw your lifetime of hard work away and possibly cross those lines that separate you from the people you hunt. It was also on my mind that I may very well have to do something that you might try to stop me from doing and..."

He stops as his throat tightens, his eyes fill with tears and his voice starts to squeak a little from the emotions. He drags in a deep breath and finishes "I love you and I love my daughter. You two are the most important people in my world. The idea that there may arrive a moment during this adventure where your presence with me may cause me to hesitate and lose my baby I would break. There's nothing that would allow me to forgive myself for this situation so the smartest thing for me to do was walk away. Was it the right decision? I still don't know but I know that at the time I wasn't thinking and I didn't make the wrong decision." as the tears flow freely now.

Slowly she walks to him, he looks almost like he's broken already. She puts her arms around him and coos in his ear "It's okay. I'm here. You can forgive yourself. She's okay. You're okay. I'm not mad." as he sobs into her shoulder, the stress and strain coming out and easing his stance. She can feel him drooping onto her and softening.

"Kate..." he whispers.

"Shhhhh... No need to say anything." she whispers into his ear.

"Yes I do." he says wrapping his arms around her tighter "Yes I do. I need to say that I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I locked you out without saying anything. I need to say that I'm sorry I didn't let my partner in on what I was planning. I know you love Alexis and I'm sorry I kept you from helping her."

"It's okay Rick, it really is. I can't say your logic was wrong. I may not have liked it but I might have made the same choices." she squeezes him back as his sobs soften.

"There's something else I owe you for. You took the time to take care of my family and me. To call Gina and Paula and even call Meredith. Although that last one would not deserve thanks if you hadn't suggested she get a hotel." he says with a little brightness now.

"I had to Rick, we didn't need to have Alexis and your Mother mad at me at the same time." She laughs as she kisses his temple.

"Yes, you're right of course." he confesses as he steps back from her embrace "I still wonder at times how I got so lucky." he says smiling at her.

Her face is now soft and warm and she's smiling at him. "It's not all about you Castle, I might be getting punished, forced to tolerate a nine-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush albatross for some previous transgression." she says with a wink.

"Nice job there Detective, you got to give me that kick and I never saw your foot move."

"I've been practicing that for a while." she smirks as she leans in to kiss him.

"Rick. I want to talk to you more about all of this but I think you need to get back to your office. I'll bet that there's things you need to be cleaning up after this week as well as a pair of redheads that need to be assured of each other's proximity and with you."

"There you go, talking sense again. Don't know what would make you do something silly like that. I suppose you're going to tell me I don't have a choice again." he says laughing.

"I guess I don't have to say it then. Good. You're learning." she says pulling away from him. "Rick, you want a cup of coffee for the road?"

"Yes, thank you. I'll make sure I wash out your travel mug so you don't get my cooties."

As she poured him his coffee "Good. You can give it back to me later at the precinct. Now, go home. Keep the girls company. Oh, I've been meaning to ask, do you want to suggest to Alexis that she talk to someone? I can give you Dr Burke's contact info if you want for her."

He perks up a bit at the idea "That's a great idea! I'll talk to mother about it. I think it might be easier coming... hey... on second thought... You've already told her that you were in therapy, maybe the discussion would be better coming from you. She knows how you feel about her and I know how she feels about you. Would you feel comfortable talking to her about it? You can, of course, say no, it _is_ a very personal thing."

"Nothing like my stepping right into it eh? I have to ask, what about her mother? Wouldn't that make more sense?"

"Riiight, Meredith. The woman who thinks charge card credit line annihilation should be an Olympic event. As much as I appreciate it, I'd have to say Alexis would be better of learning to drink scotch in large quantities. So, I'll say thanks but no thanks to that option. Anyway, Meredith has already left, she just texted me this morning, she's on her way back to California, she has an audition to get to."

"Well then, yes, I'll talk to her for you, would tonight be good?" she asks hiding the nervousness she feels at stepping into Alexis' life like this.

"I'll make sure there's plenty of comfort food for all and maybe some comedy movies to choose from to keep everyone happy." he says sounding chipper. "Thank you!" He says as he gives her a kiss, taking his coffee and heading for the door.

"You're welcome. Now go! I'll talk to you later on." she says smiling as he closes the door behind him. Shaking her head with a big smile she thinks to herself "Well, this is a fine kettle of fish you've gotten yourself into Katherine." as she heads for the shower amazed at how natural it feels to be part of his family, to be asked to talk to his daughter about such weighty issues.

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_So, I was so proud of myself that I'd completed this story.  
Then the abuse started. Okay, so it wasn't abuse, just good  
natured encouragements. So, now I'm trying to **really** finish  
this story the way it **should** be finished.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Note from the__ author:_**_  
_Well... It seems that my oneshot, Ch1 wasn't done and needed some continuation. So, here I am trying to do so.  
I hope this lives up to people's expectations. Thank you for reading!

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Dinner with the family, time for a talk with Alexis. This is going to be tricky. She's not your average kid and she's not had an average experience. She's someone exceptional and had an experience to match. Talk about "No pressure." she thinks to herself. "I think I just developed a whole new respect for what Rick has had to go through talking to her. Sheesh!"

Trying to find the old case file she needed was turning into an Indiana Jones like nightmare. This is going to take all day it seems. At least she has something to think about while doing it. The more she thought about what she had to do the more she realized it was going to require some of the trickery she learned from her own mother. So, how to make this happen? That's the next question. She's going to need a few things. Time to get some of the pieces into place. She's going to need him and his mother to make themselves scarce during the conversation. The best way to mask the conversation is to share the kitchen with Alexis and cook together.

"Who in their" **_*GRUNT*_** "right mind would have" **_*GRUNT*_** "thought that there were this many" **_*GRUNT*_** "people murdered in New York who are named" **_*GRUNT*_** "Robert Jones?" she grouses while moving around boxes and boxes of files.

She reaches over, to her phone, hits speaker and speed dial number two while she continues her archeological adventure.

"So Detective, miss the soothing and sexy sound of my dulcet voice?"

"Castle! Zip it." she snaps.

"Zipping it now Detective. I just want to know how you knew it was unzipped."

The quick return would have had a startling effect on anyone less than Kate Beckett but this was _their_ game. She could play too. "Great Castle. I've got you on speakerphone with Captain Gates and the Chief of Detectives in the room. Real smooth there Sherlock." she says smiling.

The sound of him dropping things suddenly, including his phone, and probably his laptop ensue. He obviously was in his 'writing pose' with his feet on the desk and laptop on his legs. "Oh my god! I'm sorry! Captain Gates, I'm so sorry, no disrespect intended. Chief! My apologies, I am writing and wasn't thinking about what I was saying. I'm sorry!"

The only thing that was missing during the silence after that was the sounds of the crickets while Beckett stood there, hip deep in archive boxes, hands on her hips, smiling at having beaten him at his own game.

"Captain? Chief? I'm so sorry Detective. I didn't mean..."

His fervent apologies get cut short by the sound of Beckett trying to stifle a laugh and failing miserably. "Castle, you are so screwed when I tell Espo about this, he's going to really make you miserable over it."

"Great Beckett, I spilled coffee on my pants thanks to you!"

"Hey, you started it writer-man not me." She says smugly.

"Did you call just to damage my calm?" he asks conceding the point.

"Although that's a good enough reason to call, I do have another purpose this time. I need you to prepare some groundwork for tonight."

"Well, that's good enough for me. So, what can I do for you." The disembodied voice asks.

"So, forget the comfort food for tonight. I want you to ask Alexis if she'll help me cook dinner tonight. If there's no problems, then we'll plan on my showing up about four and we'll take an hour to an hour and a half to prepare dinner." she says while continuing to dig through file boxes.

"Okay, that's easy to do."

Almost under her breath she says "Yea, so you say." then Kate continues talking to him "During that time, you're going to make yourself scarce, fake a phone call, whatever you want, just leave us alone in a way that makes it obvious that you can't be listening in on us, you won't surprise us and we'll know when you're coming. You'll also need to talk to Martha about it, same rule applies. Obviously you and her may wander through but minimizing that is a good idea."

"I can do scarce and I'll make sure mother knows it too. Anything else you'll want or need?" he asks.

Beckett stands up to stretch her back "What I need is a damn shovel to get through these files!" she groans in frustration. "Yes, now that you mention it, I'm going to send you an ingredients list, you need to make sure we have them for tonight when we cook dinner. You can add to the list anything else you think might make for a good dinner or dessert including a movie or two that will lift the spirits."

"Okay Kate. Will do. Can you make sure that you'll get the night off with no possible call-ins?"

"Yes. I'll talk to Gates and get that arranged as soon as I get out of here." she says looking around at the mess of boxes then yelling skyward with her arms out wide "**If I can find the one freakin' file that I need for this case!**"

"Should I leave you to it Detective?"

"Yes please. I'll talk to you a little later on." she says reaching over and ending the call.

"I need to plan what I'm going to say tonight too." she thinks to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

"Detec... Kate, come on in. Sorry about that, old habits." Alexis says as she closes the door behind her.

"Alexis, don't worry about it. I still think like that too. We all do. I ran into one of the teachers I had in high school and I still called her Miss Collins. It's just the way we're wired." she says taking off her coat and hanging it in the front closet.

"Thanks. It's funny, I can usually control it in most situations but the honorific trips me up, it's the same for Doctors and Professors, Detective is more than a gender specific prefix, it means something and it makes it harder to sidestep and overlook."

"Don't worry about it. I'll answer to just about anything." Kate says trying to lighten the mood. "Where'd your dad get off to?"

Alexis gives a little sigh and gestures with her thumb "He's in his office for the next hour or so, something about a video interview with someone in New Zealand, I kinda tuned him out about it, he was being weird, said he got warned to be careful about his language and use of the vernacular. I guess there's some land-mines there."

"Great. Well, what do you think, want to get cookin'?" Kate asks.

"Sure." the young woman says without a great deal of her usual enthusiasm.

"Oh wait. Before we start." Kate says pulling up short.

"What?" Alexis asks turning to look at her.

"We should get it out of the way." Kate offers almost apologetically.

"What? Get what out of the way?" she asks obviously confused.

"Let's address the elephant in the room since you and I haven't really talked since you got home. First question, how are you doing after your ordeal?" Kate asks softly.

"Oh yeah, that sort of _is_ an elephant in the room. I suppose anyone who's heard about it is going to ask." she says looking down, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, I figured that I would be expected to ask it so, I figure I'll do it now. I'm going to assume that if you want to discuss it you will."

"Thanks for asking." Alexis says.

"Second question. Is there anything I can do for you?" Kate asks.

Again, without meeting her gaze the young woman says "No thank you but thanks for asking."

"Last part of this conversation. If there's _anything_ I can ever do for you, feel free to call any time. I can speak for everyone else too, Lanie, Javi, and Kevin. Same thing. Call any time you need. With that said, the elephant has been addressed, so why don't we get cooking?"

"Thank you for telling me that and yes, let's get started, I'd like that." the young girl says a bit more enthusiastically.

"Okay, I printed out a copy of the recipe for you. This is a newer version of the one my mother used to make. I prefer this version, it has a bit less bite to it and it's very good comfort food. Or at least I think so."

"Hmmm... Hamburger Stroganoff, sounds good. It doesn't look that hard either." she says reading the paper.

"It isn't and it allows for two to do it so why don't we get crackin'!"

"I'm game, I'll get the pans out, I think dad put some of the groceries in the 'fridge for you."

"That's great, I hope he didn't go crazy buying things for dinner."

"Kate. Now really. _My_ dad? Go crazy? Aw pshaw. Who'd imagine him going overboard on _anything?_"

"Hmmm... I can't tell if you're teasing or if I should have known better." Kate says with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"Well, you decide for yourself. He went overboard on dessert." she says with a laugh.

"Shoulda known I guess."

"I think so but you're still learning." Alexis says smiling.

"Gee, thanks kid." Kate says with a slight hip-check as she passes.

"How's your dad doing Kate?"

"He's doing pretty well. He got a big class-action suit a little while ago, before Christmas as a matter of fact and he's doing that thing where he reads and reads and reads all these briefs and reports and stuff. He eats it up." Kate says rolling her eyes with a laugh.

"Well, that's good. I'm glad for him. Tell him we said hello again."

"I will, thank you. I haven't been able to take the time to fill him in on your... I dunno, Alexis, would calling it an adventure make it sound trite or silly? Can you pass me that pan? I've got to start cooking the noodles."

"I'll start on the hamburger over here. No, I don't think so, I guess that's as good a way of labeling it as any. It _was_ and adventure."

"Good. I've not told him all the details. I really should ask you, is it all right if I tell him? I don't want to overstep any bounds and I don't want you to feel funny or anything."

"That's alright Kate. Thank you for asking. I don't see any reason why you can't fill him in. I trust you to use your judgement."

"Well thank you." Kate says with a smile "I appreciate your confidence in me. Do you have a sieve somewhere? I need to drain these noodles. I've been meaning to ask, have you talked to Lanie at all?"

"There's a sieve in that cabinet there. Not the top one, the bottom one. No, I've not talked to her yet. I've not talked to anyone really." Alexis says while stirring the hamburger in a pan.

"Have you talked to Sarah? I'd guess that she's in the same boat as you. Not many people can understand what you two went through. Hey, did he forget the mushrooms? I didn't see them in there?" Kate asks.

"Mushrooms... I'll bet he put them down in the crisper drawer."

"Yup, I got them." Kate says holding them up like a little trophy.

"No, I've not talked to Sarah. Do you think it would be a good idea?" Alexis asks.

"To tell you the truth, yes, I bet it would be good for both of you. Just to reconnect after all the crap that went on." Kate says trying to keep her voice even.

"I'll have to do that then. Maybe I'll call her tomorrow morning. Do you think her parents are walking on egg-shells like my dad is?" Alexis asks somewhat distractedly.

"Hey, in this step here," Kate says pointing to the recipe "it works better if you mix the gravy and water separately. I would suspect that Sarah's parents are probably as bad or worse than your dad. I think they've been expecting something like this for a long time. I think you should make a point of doing it tomorrow just to get it started."

Alexis nods slightly at the suggestion then volunteers "I'll do the gravy while this cooks here. You really think her parents would be worse? Dad and Grams are being very good and trying to act like nothing has happened but you can tell they're both wishing they could clip a leash on me to know where I am."

"Well, I don't need to tell you that they're like that because they love you and care. The good news is that your dad hasn't mentioned anything about having you implanted with a GPS chip to keep track of you. By the way, how 'overboard' did your dad go on the dessert?"

"Oh Kate. It's bad. Open the freezer and take the plastic bag out of the way on the top there." Alexis says pointing to the freezer.

"Oh my god." Kate says somewhat shocked at the amount of ice-cream they've got. "Alexis, how many stores did he hit for this?"

"Don't complain Kate, the good news is he didn't hire an entire ice-cream truck. We take our victories with him, big or small, where we can find them." Alexis says laughing. Kate can see in her eyes that there's a maelstrom of things going on.

"Alexis, does your dad come with an instruction manual by any chance?" she asks closing the freezer and leaning on the door looking a bit worn down.

"Sorry Kate, he's a do-it-yourself project. Kind of like buying a piece if furniture that only has Chinese directions." Alexis says smiling.

"Great." Kate says with a crooked smirk.

Alexis puts her hand on her hip and gives Kate a cool stare with a smile "Y'know Kate, it's kinda late in the game for questions like that. You're well past the point of no return so now's a _heck_ of a time to think of that."

"I guess you're right." Kate says walking comically back to her tasks at the counter with her head down like a scolded puppy to spirited laughter from Alexis.

"You ready for this hamburger and gravy?" Alexis asks returning to the cooking.

"Almost ready for it. Y'know, you'd think that as a skilled, or so I thought, detective, I'd have been on to him a lot sooner than this." Kate says laughing.

"Don't worry, Grams told you a long time ago, he sneaks up on all of us." Alexis says shaking her head. "While you finish this part of the meal I'll get started on some salad."

"Yea, he did sneak up on me. Even my therapist seems to have known about this before me." Kate says concentrating on the food in front of her.

"You?" Alexis asks stopping in her tracks.

"Me what?" Kate asks nonchalantly. She knows that the meat of the conversation starts here.

"You? You are in _therapy_?" Alexis asks almost dumbfounded.

"Yeah. Me. I thought I told you that. Sorry." Kate answers very matter-of-factly turning to look in her eyes.

The young girl stands still for a moment absorbing this revelation. Finally, she looks up. "If you don't mind my asking, why?" Alexis asks a little softer now.

Kate walks over to where Alexis is standing, turns her shoulder to her and leans against the counter. "The department required that I go for a couple of sessions after my shooting to make sure I still had all my marbles." she says smiling and lightly tapping her temple.

"So they _made_ you go?"

"No, they made me _start_. After I got back on the job I found that I still had... had... um..."

Alexis quickly tries to take it back "It's okay Kate, you don't have to..."

Now whispering "No, it's alright Alexis. I don't mind telling you." Kate takes a deep breath and explains "I had issues. I had a **lot** of issues. I thought I was fine. I seemed fine but..." wiping away a tear and taking a shaky breath "I... I had... correction, I **still** have nightmares, _**bad**_ nightmares. I found that I also had other issues that I couldn't even see."

The young girl wraps her arms around the older woman to comfort her as she collects herself. "Kate, don't."

Sucking in a shaky breath Kate continues "It's actually good for me to talk about it a little and I trust you. It has taken me months to get to where I am now. I look back at who I was a couple of years ago I realize I was fooling myself and I was missing out on the best thing that I could have ever had happen to me." after a short pause "Alexis, _please_ don't tell him I said that either, he's too difficult as it is now." she finishes with a small smile.

Alexis nods at the statement "I know Kate, he'd be impossible to be around if he heard that. Your secret is safe with me."

"I know Alexis." she says smiling "I find... found..." taking another deep breath to collect herself "After my mother, I couldn't trust anyone, I never was willing to actually put my complete trust in anyone until Peter-pan there showed up. I now find that there's three people who I actually trust with my heart." she says smiling and gently stroking Alexis' cheek.

"I'm sorry Kate. I had no idea." Alexis says softly.

"I understand. Don't worry. I'd suggested to my therapist that we get merit badges we could wear, things like 'Doesn't hear voices anymore.', 'No longer a quivering lump at loud noises.' but the shrink pooh-poohed the idea suggesting I wasn't taking him seriously. Go figure." she finally says with a laugh and shrug of her shoulders.

"I think he's right. If you do that then you'd have to give warning labels too. 'Caution, may bite for no reason.', 'Has daddy issues.', 'Still thinks the cheese is speaking to him.' I think it becomes a slippery slope after that." the redhead says humorously.

"Well, I can't do everything myself. I'll have to leave that for someone else to sort out. Oh, and that's something else I learned." Beckett says.

"What's that?"

"I learned I can't do everything myself." Kate confesses.

Nodding her head, Alexis agrees "Yeah, he isn't going to hear that either." After a short pause she goes on "Kate... Do _you_ think I should see someone?" she asks as they break the embrace and return to the cooking.

"You already know I can't tell you if you should or shouldn't. In my _opinion_ I think it wouldn't hurt for you to try it. Here's a decision tree for you to consider. If you don't, you'll never know if you have any ramifications of your experiences. If you do and you find you don't need it, you haven't lost anything. Lastly, if you do go and you find that you _do_ need it, you're already on the right path to clarity. No matter what, it has to be your own decision. Now that we're talking about it, I'm going to suggest your dad do it too, maybe the two of you might want to consider doing it together at times also. You're old enough to hear what your father went through without it scarring you for life. It might be helpful for the two of you to share it. I'm sure you'd be surprised to hear the depth of your father's conviction."

"Do I want to hear what he went through?" Alexis asks.

"I don't know but I'm sure that in an extreme situation like this, getting some inkling of what the other participants went through might help you. I know that your father and I talked about our bizarre kidnapping experience. Hey, where's the casserole dish?"

Digging in the bottom of a cabinet her voice a bit muffled "I've got it in here, give me a second. What was your experience again? I remember him saying something but I don't remember the details." she says standing finally and handing the disk to Kate.

"That was the time we were trapped and ended up with a tiger in the room? We were handcuffed to each other. There were moments where it was a toss up which was worse, the handcuffed to him or the prospect of being a tiger snack." she says laughing.

Alexis brightens a little at the similarity of situations "Oh yeah, now I remember! It was sort of what we dealt with, drugged and placed somewhere where no one would expect to find you."

"Exactly. There were a number of differences that made it easier on us, we knew each other well, we had more experience in life than you had, things like that. We also knew we had a large group of people actively looking for us. Would you take a look at the recipe, do we spoon this in now? I can't remember if we missed anything."

"Yes, that's the next step, I don't think we've missed anything. I know my dad loves me and I know everyone was working together to find us."

"No, we weren't." Kate says sadly with a slightly defeated tone.


	4. Chapter 4

"_I'm sorry, What?_" Alexis asks stunned, not sure she understood the statement.

"Yes, we were all working to find you but not together. Your dad locked us out. He walked away from me telling me he was going home, a few hours later when I talked to Martha I found out that he had taken his passport and left for Paris. He refused to answer his phone and talk to me." Kate says angrily while working on the casserole without looking up.

"My dad didn't tell you _anything_?"

"Nothing." Kate stops fiddling with her tasks, leans on her hands on the counter and takes a deep breath to fight the emotions and softly says "He intentionally locked me and the others out because he felt he was going to have to do things... things that would be a problem for a sworn officer of the law to be involved in. He didn't even give me the _chance_ to choose and that pissed me off."

"Oh my god." Alexis says almost under her breath.

"Alexis, so you know, I would have chosen to go with him without question." gently turning to look at her. "He would do anything for you and... I find myself surprised to say this, so would I, and not just because you're his daughter."

Kate can see by the look on her young face that she doesn't know what to make of this revelation. To keep her from dwelling on it yet and because she's uncomfortable with it all too, she clears her throat to say "Let's get this meal underway, we don't want the others to show up with no food available. We've got to put this in the oven."

"Uh... Yeah, okay." Alexis says trying to push the storm aside to concentrate on the tasks at hand. "I'll set the table and put out the salad."

"Sounds like a plan." Kate says letting the silence envelop them.

"Kate? Thanks for talking to me." Alexis offers quietly as she continues her tasks.

After a long pause Kate replies "You don't need to thank me Alexis. You are _always_ welcome to talk to me. I may not be able to help but I'm willing to try."

The two continued to prepare dinner for everyone in silence now, just sharing in each other's company. As time went on, the mood slowly softened and they started to speak again. Kate had another thing to ask because she thought it was another point of concern about Alexis' well being that needed to be addressed no matter how unpleasant it was. "How was your mother? She handle it all okay?" she asks with a relaxed voice.

"Mom was... well, she was just mom. After her initial relief at seeing me, when she almost squeezed me to death, she began to revert to what she always is, herself. She asked me if I wanted to go shopping to let off some steam. Seems like a foolish thing to say but I think it is her only coping mechanism or at least the one that always works for her. I know she meant well." Alexis explains as she sets the table.

After a moment Kate decides to offer an idea to the young girl "You seem to have a good grasp on that part of the situation. Can I suggest something for you to consider? It's just my opinion. I know it sounded foolish at the time but maybe, _just maybe_, her idea to go shopping wasn't just her coping mechanism, maybe it was also her idea on how to get you into a comfortable and familiar situation so that the two of you could talk and not just so only _you_ could talk. It might be the only way she knows to expose herself either."

"I never thought of that. I just assumed it was her way of avoiding being seen as not having been affected." Alexis says quietly with a touch of hurt in her voice.

"I'll tell you, when I called her..."

"_**You called her?**_" Alexis asks almost incredulous standing up and turning to face Kate.

"Um... Yeah, why? Was that a mistake?" Kate asks scared now of what she might have unleashed.

"No, not a mistake, I just assumed that dad called her. Why did he ask you to do it?" There's a bit of anger in her eyes and Kate doesn't know what to make of it.

Kate turns to face Alexis and look her square in the eye, and firmly explains "Your father _didn't_ ask me to do it." she pauses to let the knowledge sink in then she continues "I _volunteered_ to do it. I did it because I knew she needed to know and that I didn't think it'd be a good idea to have your father, one step away from a nuclear meltdown, doing it so I did it. I also took it upon myself to call Gina and Paula too to tell them to leave him alone until further notice. I didn't explain to them but I did to your mother. She _had_ to know and I felt that I was better qualified to deliver such news than your dad. You seem mad. Are you sure I didn't do something wrong?"

Softening now "No Kate. You didn't. You made the right choice, thank you. I'm mad at my mother because she didn't tell me it was you who called. She just said that she was notified and that was it."

Kate waits a couple of minutes until she sees Alexis' posture soften before she continues "I'm sorry Alexis. Don't hold it against her. What I was going to say a moment ago was that she _did_ react as I expected a mother to react, she fell apart when she heard you were kidnapped. I've heard real and fake grief and her's was real. It was real and painful and deep."

"I suspect she didn't even bother to thank you" Alexis says quietly.

"Actually, yes she did. She thanked me for calling her and she thanked me for the constant text updates I sent her every four hours. I tried to give her as much information as I could. Just so you know, I'm also the one that suggested she _not_ come out here until after they rescued you. Her staying at home was better for her because otherwise she'd have been even more of a disaster sitting and waiting in a strange hotel room out here. I also told the FBI liason to get someone out to where she was just in case she needed something, we needed her or whatever."

Alexis stops in her tracks "Every four hours?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Thank you for doing that for her. I know she's a handful and you and her had a little clash when I was home sick."

"You're welcome Alexis. I didn't do that for _her_, I did it for _you_ and your father. He has been my partner for a long time and I owe him a lot, this is just my trying to help any way that I can. I still haven't forgotten how I've caused your father and thereby you and your grandmother a great deal of pain this past year. We've had our ups and downs and I will prove to him and you two that I'm sincere. As for that little clash, it did set me on edge for a while but then I got a grip on the situation and now I know Meredith was out of her league and the things she said were incorrect. I also need to tell you that when I told her you were safe, she sounded very genuinely relieved. I know you two have your differences and differing views on things and I don't want to parlay my involvement into anything else but I think you should hear my opinion as an outsider. There seems to be genuine motherly love there for you and I believe, again, my own opinion, that you should know that."

Alexis walks over to her and gives her a big hug. "Thank you very much for everything you've done for all of us Kate."

She hugs her back, pressing her cheek to the girl's head "You're very welcome. I am so very glad that I was able to be there for you and your family."

Just as she releases her Alexis says "I think it's safe to say _**our**_ family Kate. You're in this clan too now." as she wipes away a tear from her own eyes and continues preparing for dinner.

Kate Beckett stands there stunned. She feels the wind knocked out of her but she feels warm and happy. The recognition is overwhelming and pleasing at the same time. All she can do is croak out a scratchy "Thank you." to the girl as she too returns to the preparations.

Again, the two continue their tasks in silence but with glassy eyes holding back tears of joy. The silence broken by the startling sound of the cooking timer announcing the food is ready.


	5. Chapter 5

Kate clears her throat and says to Alexis "How's that for timing! Do you want to let the others know that dinner is ready?"

"Yes, I'll go get grams then I'll wake dad up." Alexis says walking briskly up the stairs to get her grandmother.

Smiling after her Kate hears her inner voice saying "Yes Katherine, this really _**is**_ a fine kettle of fish you're in." and she smiles knowing how lucky she really is. Using the short break to her advantage Kate grabs her phone and hammers out a quick text message "L R U still in doing cuddle? if so, please take alexis, shee needs it badly -KB" and sends it off to Lanie. Thinking to herself "If there's anyone who needs a little life affirmation, I think Alexis is a textbook case." just then her phone beeps "willdo, planning tomorrow afternoon anyway. will call her-L" Kate smiles conspiratorially and replies "tnx much. ura doll-K"

"Kaate!" She hears Martha call from the stairs as she descends behind Alexis. "How lovely to see you again. I understand the two of you have prepared a culinary masterpiece for us."

"Hello Martha." she says with a little hug "No masterpieces, just some nice warm food to share."

"Well, that's wonderful, we can use some family time. Where's Richard? Don't tell me he's sleeping still."

Laughing Kate says "I don't know, Alexis has gone to get him. She'd said he was on a teleconference so maybe that's what he's been doing."

"While Alexis isn't here Kate, thank you so very _very_ much for talking to her. I'm sorry to say that I'm on the wrong side of forty to do it and Richard is... well, he's Richard." Martha says quietly between the two.

"I'm honored to be able to do anything to help her. There's going to be more conversations but I think I've opened up some doorways. Shhh... Here she comes."

"Hey Alexis, where's the old man?" Kate asks.

"I heard that!" he calls out from his office.

"Who said the hearing is the first to go huh?" she says laughing and giving Alexis a high-five.

"I woke him up and he's on his way." Alexis says.

"I heard that too! I was _working!_ Don't get too confident you two, I've put the laser tag equipment on to charge. We're going to have to have a game again soon to remind you both who's the boss." he calls out again.

The three women look at each other and smile and nod knowingly. Alexis is fastest with "I don't know who it is for sure but I'm fairly certain it's not him but we shouldn't tell him that."

"Right!" Martha and Kate respond at the same time.

Coming out of his office he sniffs the air "I don't know what it is but it smells really good! Let's get started! Mother? Kate? Wine? he offers."

"Oh Richard, what would make you ask such a foolish question as that? Of _course_ I'll have some wine." Martha says smiling.

"How about you Kate?" he asks while he pours some wine for his mother.

"Sure, why not, half a glass though."

"Half a glass it is. Alexis, what would you like to drink?"

"I'm going to stick with water for a while." she says "Kate, it smells delicious, do you want to do the honors?" as she hands a serving utensil to her.

"I'd be glad to. Alexis, would you pass me your grandmother's plate?" as she cuts and lifts a section of the casserole.

As she continues to serve and they enjoy their meal and each other's company, the discussions around the table constantly switch to various topics. At one point Kate speaks up "Martha, I've been meaning to ask you, does your school have night classes or just day classes?"

"Just day classes right now. We have some small ones on the weekends for some of the community theater groups but otherwise, not much. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Kate starts "there's an officer in the precinct" turning to Rick "You remember Ann Hastings don't you?"

"Yes, she was the one who was dating the reporter slash writer a while back." he says between bites.

"Exactly the one." now turning back to Martha, Kate continues "She runs a couple of classes for women on self-defense and the gym she'd been using is closing. It's also way across town and she wasn't fond of the place because of how masculine it was along with all the other clientèle not to mention the smell. I was wondering if you'd be open to talking with her about maybe letting her use some space during off hours. She's got mats and things already so all she needs is a space."

"Of course! That would be great!" Martha beams.

Kate warns Martha "I don't know how her business works so I can't tell you anything about money all I wanted to do was broach the subject with you to see if it was an option before saying anything to her."

Martha bubbles with enthusiasm "Oh please do. Have her get in touch with me. I'd love to ease the financial burden a little and serving the community at the same time is a great idea. I'll also call my financial adviser to see what additional benefits we can get out of the arrangement."

"Okay, I'll talk to her tomorrow about it." Kate says happily.

"Kate, you never cease to amaze me, this is a great meal." Castle says.

"I told you, you need to pay more attention Castle." Kate says smiling "Let's not forget that Alexis shared the tasks. She also warned me about dessert."

"Yeah dad, it seems that Kate was _surprised_ that you'd go overboard on something." Alexis adds with a smirk.

"You too eh?" he says to Alexis. "What? No comments from you Mother?" he challenges with a big smile on his face.

"Who? Me? I'm sorry Richard, I wasn't listening, what were you saying?" she says obviously faking it.

"Three to one. I suppose I lost a long time ago." he mumbles as he eats his dinner.

"Very good Richard, admitting it is the first step to happiness." Martha says raising her glass to the other two women at the table.

His only response is a harrumph but he's smiling and he loves it all dearly.

"Kate?" Alexis is looking down and fiddling with the food on her plate.

"Yes?" Kate answers and waits patiently.

"Um... do you think that her course would take someone like me?" the girl asks, her usual robust confidence missing and the timid look in her eye surprises Kate.

"Absolutely. She teaches a few courses. A very simple one, really aimed at women such as yourself who are peaceful and lithe but want to feel safe. One of the things she teaches is the idea that once you've defended yourself, even in this classroom setting, it makes you feel more confident about yourself which helps you if... well... to put it bluntly, if you're in a situation like the one you and Sarah were in. As a matter of fact, when you talk to Sarah, you can invite her too. Ann is a wonderful woman and very patient. I know she'd be glad to work with you two. Either in a group, as a pair, or alone. If you want company, I can go with you too, I always need to practice."

"I'd like that. I realized after our escape attempt that one of my fears was 'what if I run into someone' and I had no idea what to do." she says, still quiet and timid. "If I knew even a little of what to do when I was on the roof, I might have had a little more time which would have given me a better chance of getting someone's attention."

"Alexis, that's exactly what this is about. She even tells her classes, that they won't be Jason Bourne but you won't be a victim either. She really cares a lot." and stage whispering behind her hand to Alexis "And she can kick ass with the best of them."

"That sounds good. I'd like to try it. Why doesn't she use the police gym?"

"She has to separate the classes and the teaching from the police department because of liability crap that the department imposed on her. Being a cop and doing this, they worried that they were open to liability issues, that's why she has to find places to do it."

"Tell you what Kate, when you ask her about the girls, tell her I'll give her my big room for two months for free for taking the two girls." Martha offers, pleased to be able to help Alexis this way.

"I'll triple it, that's six months she'll have a place." Castle says without even looking up.

"Wow, I'll do that." Kate says happily "I'll call her tomorrow."

"I'm glad to hear it." Castle says smiling. Then asks "How's Hastings doing with what's-his-face?"

"I've heard through the grapevine that they're engaged and he's working on expanding his comic-book portfolio." Kate says.

"I'll have to notify the store where I get my supply from, to see if they can change my reservations to get anything new he does." Rick says smiling.

"All this talking and we've not asked you Martha, how's things at the school going?" Kate asks.

"Ah... Well, I'd like to say 'delightful' but it would be a fabrication. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'm having a great time doing it." Martha says in her usual flamboyant manner.

"It sounds like the true definition of sweet-and-sour." Kate says.

"It is, it is. I enjoy the end results significantly so that makes up for the stress and sweat."

"If it's that hard Grams, why do you do it?" Alexis asks "At this point in your career, can't you take it a bit easier? Wouldn't that be more prudent?"

"Oh my dear. Who wants prudent and safe?" the diva says waving her arms over her head "The only way to truly live is to extend yourself and feel your pulse race. I love the feeling of sharing my knowledge with the next generation, to illuminate a legacy that will survive me." now getting up to refill her wine "The trials and tribulations that allow me to do that are just a tuition payment in the school of life. I don't think that it's too much work to enjoy the benefits which I love." now sitting down and taking hold of her granddaughter's forearm "Don't you see it? Don't you see how much it is worth to me? It is the _struggle_ that makes the results so sweet and rewarding."

"I do Grams, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't think about it like that." the young girl says lowering her gaze. At this exchange Kate and Rick exchange a knowing look which they both share with Martha before Alexis notices. They're worried that she might want to retreat from the world because of her experience.

"Hey Rick, since you got to spend the day sleeping while we slaved, how about you help me clean up?" Kate says standing up and grabbing a collection of things.

"I was _working!_" he squawks to deaf ears.

"I'll be glad to help since you kind ladies prepared this feast for us." Martha volunteers standing and taking items to the kitchen.

"Mother?"

"Yes Richard?"

"I think... Do I hear your phone ringing, were you expecting a call?"

No, I wasn't. I should go see who it is if you'll excuse me for a moment." she says excusing herself and heading up the stairs.

"Take your time Martha! Sleepy here will help me clean up." Kate calls out laughing.

"Sleepy? Really?" Castle complains.

"Why? Would you prefer Dopey?" Kate snaps with a grin.

"Yup, lost that one too. Walked right into it blam, right in the kisser." he says to himself out loud collecting dishes to take to the kitchen.

"Alexis, since you did a lot of the cooking, why don't you take a break and let us clean up? You can be in charge of dessert." Kate says busying herself in the kitchen.

"Thanks Kate! I'll see if Paige has replied to my email. I'll be back in a few minutes to help." Alexis says scooting up the stairs.

Quickly turning to her partner now in the kitchen with her "Rick, she seems to be very receptive to professional help. I've also suggested that _you_ go to a session or two on your own, partly to help her along and partly because I think it'd be good for you. I've also suggested that the two of you do some sessions together so you can both share what happened to the other person. Lanie is going to take her out tomorrow. Encourage her to go. It'll be very good for her." she keeps looking at the stairs to make sure they're not seen and misinterpreted as conspiring.

"The phrase _thank you_ doesn't sufficiently convey my appreciation for what you've done." he whispers to her.

"That's okay Rick, you'll just have to show me later." she says with a wink as she continues clearing the table.

"So, do you want to start on dessert right away or a little later on?" he asks as he loads the dishwasher.

"My opinion would be to wait a while, maybe we can watch one of those short movies you have."

"I'm convinced. Sounds like a plan to me. If I didn't say it before, that was a great dinner."

"Thank you and you're welcome. I was honored that you think I could help. I'm glad I could do it and that I could talk to her. I hope it worked." she says as she puts away some of the leftovers.

"I'm sure it helped. I'm sure just being able to talk to someone she can relate to is a relief itself. So thank you again." he says.

"You're welcome. Now, enough of that. Let's move on for now." she says patting him on the back as he continues to clean. "I think you're the first person I've ever heard of who can take moderation to excess."

"What do you mean?"

"Dessert. Told to not overdo it you resist the urge and only get enough dessert to quench a small navy. I don't know anyone else who could accomplish that." she says laughing.

"Well you don't need to partake if it bothers you that much."

"I can't let Alexis face the prospect of all that ice-cream alone. I'll just have to do my part to help her out." Kate says trying to school her face into a serious look.

"You're such a martyr. I'm sure Alexis will appreciate your self sacrifice." he smirks "Want to wait on the couch for the others to return?"

"I think you've come up with a good plan there Mr Castle." she says wrapping her arm around his "Care to lead the way?"

"I'd love to my dear Ms Beckett, maybe I can put a down payment on that debt I owe you."

* * *

**_Author's note:_**  
The "cuddle thing" that I involved Lanie in is something done at a lot of hospital maternity wards (as well as animal shelters) where volunteers are trained to hold newborn babies, just cuddle them, to help them grow and develop. It has been proven that the human touch is beneficial to babies. What a better way to reaffirm life?

I also encourage people to do the same at animal shelters, baby animals benefit from the human contact also and it helps them grow into better pets. Want to play with a kitten or puppy? Here's your chance. It lowers blood pressure and stress too.

Be selfish, give a cuddle!


	6. Chapter 6

The two sitting on the couch hear a voice from upstairs "Okay you two, teenager entering the room!"

"It's okay Alexis, he's behaving." Kate calls out.

"She is too!" Rick yells back.

"Just sayin'!" the teen says as she gets to the bottom of the stairs. "Grams is still on the phone, want to start one of the shorter movies? When she gets down here we can start trying to put a dent in the modest collection of ice-cream we've got in the freezer."

"That sounds like a good idea. Do you want to pick?" he offers.

"_Modest?_" Kate asks rhetorically.

"Anyone have any preferences?" Alexis asks kneeling down at the video cabinet.

Castle throws his hands up and says "Hey, I obviously don't have a say about what goes on around here so I'll just say _lady's choice_."

Over her shoulder Alexis says "You're doing a wonderful job with him Kate. So, what would _you_ like to watch?"

"Something very light please. Surprise me."

"Ever watch _Pinky and the Brain_?" Alexis asks with her nose still buried in the video cabinet.

"Who? Pinky what?" Kate asks looking confused.

"Oh Alexis, we have _**got**_ to educate this poor woman. She's been deprived for much too long." Castle says rubbing his hands together in front of him.

"Alright! We've got a plan here. Kate, you're going to _love_ this stuff." Alexis says having put the DVD in and taking a spot on the couch and wrapping herself in a blanket and leaning on her father. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" she says laughing.

Using a wacky voice he responds with "I think so but where are we going to get a pink teddybear and a garden hose at this time of night?" and the two laugh hysterically.

Kate looks on worried about what the joke is that she's missing as the trio settles in for a little laugh-fest.

A little while later Martha finishes her phone call and heads down the stairs only to be met by riotous laughter from the group.

"What have I been missing?" she asks.

"We've been watching _Pinky and the Brain_ Grams, Kate's never seen it before." Alexis calls out.

"Oh the poor dear, how _could_ she have survived this long without it?" Martha says mocking them.

"Actually Martha, I'm enjoying it, this is fun." Kate says "I don't know how I missed this. It's quite brilliant."

"Oh good grief! Another victim has been claimed." Martha moans. "Anyone around here know where a person can get some dessert?"

"_YES!_ Dessert time!" Alexis exclaims jumping up from the couch. "I'll start lining up the flavors, dad, you've volunteered yourself for bowl and spoon duty."

"How the heck did I volunteer for that without saying a word?" Castle asks as he gets up from the couch and folds the blanket looking bewildered.

"I heard you say it." Kate says "Didn't you Martha?"

"I can't say for sure, I wasn't paying attention but I will take your word for it, I trust you." the woman laughs.

"Sorry, don't know what I was thinking." he says sullenly as he tends to the tasks smiling.

"What can I do Alexis?" Kate asks.

She pauses for a moment, looks at Kate, points to her father and says "You've got your hands full already." with a wink.

"Why do I suspect that I just got diss'ed again?" Castle says without turning around.

"My god you're paranoid there writer-man." Kate says as they all share a good laugh and she starts collecting the toppings together to line them up on the counter.

Alexis announces "Since dinner was Kate's idea and hard work, she goes first. Kate, pick your flavors and save room for thirds."

"Well, thank you m'dear, I'm going to approach this task using the _bit_ method." she announces grabbing a dish.

"What the heck is the _bit_ method?" Martha asks.

"Y'know Martha, a bit of this, a bit of that." she laughs as she scoops different ice-cream flavors into her dish.

Martha, laughing now says "Ah _no wonder_ I didn't recognize that term, I've heard that referred to as _moderation,_ not that I have _any_ idea what that means in practice."

At some point, between seconds and thirds, or was that fourths, Alexis stood next to Kate for a moment and between mouthfuls, gave her an elbow bump and quietly said "Thanks very much for everything Kate."

"You're always welcome Alexis. Any time." Kate whispers acting like they're comparing bowls of ice-cream.

"I sent an email to Sarah to see if I can call her." the young girl whispers while looking at the mess in the bottom of her bowl.

"Good. I'm glad. If you need anything, just ask." Kate offers.

"Will do."

"What's going on over there? You two plotting strategies for the next laser-tag game? Just remember, that's not fair and there's no teams." Rick announces.

"Castle, we don't need to plot against you, you're your own worse enemy when it comes to strategy." Kate says mocking him and sharing a high-five with Alexis. "Hey kid, what do you say, one more pass through the ice-cream line?"

"I'm in Kate, let's go for fifths!" she announces happily. As they pile on the desserts again Alexis quietly tells Kate "Just got a call from Doctor Parish, she's wondering if I'm available tomorrow for a couple of hours. She said she's got something to do that she thinks I'll enjoy."

"That's great! You going to do it?" Kate asks.

"I wasn't sure but I think I will. I asked her if it involved dead bodies and she said it didn't so I'm in." Alexis says quietly.

"Go for it. Again, if you need a ride or anything, let me know."

"Thanks Kate. I will." she says with a wink.

The relaxed joy on his daughter's face and her unrestrained laughter fills him with joy and hope and even more love for the women in his life. He knows Alexis' state of mind is only temporary but it's a start, Alexis is home and going to be all right and the three most important people in his life are here together and happy that's all that matters.

While the women lounge in the living room, finishing the last remnants in their dessert and enjoying the sated and happy feelings, Rick cleans up, closing containers and returning them to the freezer, packaging toppings and cleaning the counters and smiling. He's smiling hard. It feels like his face muscles should be tired but he just can't help himself.


	7. Chapter 7

"Kate." he whispers into her ear on his shoulder "Kate? Wake up. It's late. You've been sleeping for a while."

He puts his finger on her lips as she starts to yawn and groan. "Shhhh... Alexis is still asleep." he says quietly while looking over at the sleeping form of his daughter wrapped in a blanket leaning on the arm of the couch.

Whispering back at him "Rick, do you want me to help you get her to bed?"

"I'll get her up in a second. Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll wake her." he says softly and coming around the couch. As Kate turns on a light and turns off the TV she hears a scream and a thud.

While Kate was tending to other things in the room Rick squatted down at the head of the couch and gently shook Alexis "Hey sleepy head, time to wake up." he says as her eyes snap open and her fist connects with his cheek throwing him backwards onto the floor and bumping his head on the coffee table as she screams "_**NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!**_"

Kate, reacting quickly, runs to the hysterical girl and tries to shake her and hold her arms at the same time "**Alexis!** You're home! Everything is alright, you're safe! You're okay, you're home on the couch. It's me Kate, your dad is here too." as the young girl begins to focus on the woman in front of her and the shock wears off.

"Oh my god dad! I'm _so_ sorry!" Alexis begins to cry and shake in terror about what just happened.

"It's okay Alexis, it's okay, you didn't hurt him." Kate coos trying to hug the terrified girl.

Struggling to regain his balance he tries to appease her at the same time "Hey Pumpkin, I'm okay! Don't worry! I've done worse to myself. I'm fine, _really_."

Shaking in terror and horror with her blue eyes as wide as hub-caps the girl is clutching the woman and her breathing is ragged and fast. "What just happened?" she asks in a small terrified and confused voice.

"You're okay. Everything is alright. You're safe." she reassures the confused girl as Martha comes running down the stairs panicked.

"_**What**_ is going on down here?" Martha demands.

"Rick, take care of her." Kate says quickly as she concentrates on Alexis.

"Mother, it's okay." he says going to her "Alexis had a... bad reaction to being woken up. She's better now. She's going to be scared for a little bit." he says as she begins to cry for her granddaughter.

"What just happened to me?" Alexis sobs looking at Kate.

"Alexis, look at me. Shh... It's okay, look at me. Good. You're _alright_, what you just had happen to you was from your experiences." she tells the girl then she whispers "I've done it too but luckily mostly at home alone."

"My god, I can't believe I did that." and then after a beat, focusing on Kate "You've done it?"

"Yes, in my case, it's PTSD, I still have little flashbacks but they're a lot better now." Kate offers quietly.

"Hey Pumpkin." Rick says crouching down next to his daughter and putting a hand on her arm.

"Dad, I'm _so sorry_." she says wrapping him in a tight hug as she starts to cry again.

"I know sweetie. Everything is okay. Really." he says soothing her hair while she cries into his shoulder.

"But..." she starts.

"Pumpkin. Did you _intend_ to hurt me?" he asks her.

Horrified she pulls back "Dad! **NO!** _Of course not!_"

"Then don't get upset. I know you didn't mean it and it was an accident. Don't apologize for it." he says with that smile that he reserves for the women he loves.

"Alexis?" Martha calls from nearby.

"Grams?" she responds as her father helps her up from the couch and she runs over to her grandmother.

"Are you okay now my dear?" she asks wrapping the girl in a tight hug.

"A bit. I can't believe I did that. I was so terrified. I didn't know where I was." she says into her grandmother's embrace.

"I know dear. We're all here for you." she says carding the girls hair with her free hand while tears streak their faces.

Softly Alexis calls out "Hey Dad?"

"Yes Pumpkin?" he answers from the kitchen while pouring her a glass of water.

"I guess the decision has been made _for_ me. I think I need some help." Alexis says loosening her grip on her grandmother and taking a couple of deep breaths with a shaky half-smile.

"That's okay. We'll take good care of you. We'll make sure you get help." he reassures her handing her a glass of water.

"Yes we will my dear." her grandmother agrees. "Whatever it takes."

"Alexis, as much as you hate what just happened to you, it's actually normal. It happens to a lot of people who are in stressful situations like that. Don't feel alone." Kate offers. "Castle, why don't I head to my place and let you folks spend some time together." she says standing and turning towards the front closet.

"No Kate, you shouldn't leave." the young girl says apologetically "I didn't mean to make you leave."

"Alexis, you're not _making_ me leave, you need your family." Kate explains with a gentle smile.

"I know. Stay. Please."

"Okay. I will if you want."

"Thanks Kate. Grams, I'm sorry."

"Oh my dear Alexis, please don't apologize." Martha says, the agony of her granddaughter's guilt written all over her face and breaking her heart.

"Alexis? Do you feel the adrenalin still in your system?" Kate asks.

"Um... Yes. I think so. My hands are shaking and I feel jumpy." she says stepping back from Martha.

"Okay, why don't you and your dad change into some warm sweats and go out for a brisk walk around the block a few times. You both need to walk around a bit to burn up some energy and wind down from what just happened." Kate suggests.

"I'm not sure..." Alexis starts.

"Sounds like a great idea!" Castle announces like he's been invited to the circus. "Let's go Pumpkin! Meet you back here in two minutes okay?" obviously trying to be upbeat and cheery for his daughter.

"Kate, would you mind going with me? I'm sorry dad." she asks reluctantly.

Without hesitation, Kate accepts "Not at all! Let me get some sneakers on. Your dad can clean up after the movie and everything." then in an exaggerated conspiratorial voice she adds "He probably jumped at the chance to avoid doing the housework."

"Of course I don't mind and no I wasn't trying to avoid the housework." Rick says smiling.

"Thanks. Let me change and get some sneakers on." Alexis says as she walks up the stairs.

"Kate? You sure?" Castle asks her when Alexis is out of ear shot.

"Of course I am. It's okay Rick." she responds "Anyway, you've got to look after your mother." she says as she gets her sneakers from the front closet and puts them on.

"Mother? Are you alright now?" He asks going over to her.

"Oh Richard, our baby." she cries.

"It's okay mother, she's in the best of hands. Tomorrow morning we'll start getting professionals involved. Kate is right, I'm going to do a couple of family sessions with Alexis too." he says consoling her.

The actress, quickly schools her façade as the young redhead comes down from her room. "Alexis, do you have your phone with you?" she asks calmly.

"Yes Grams, right here." she says touching it in her pocket.

"You ready to go there kiddo?" Kate asks lightly.

"Yes. Let's go. Dad, no avoiding it, _clean up_!" she says a bit more cheerily.

Kate opens the door to leave with her and sees the slight pause Alexis has when passing the threshold of her home. She reassures Alexis by putting her hand on the girl's back to let her know she's with her.

Their unspoken communications so well attuned that Castle can see in Beckett's actions and the glance she gives him as she closes the door, an explanation and message about what just happened.

"Richard, I'm so scared for her." Martha says as she starts to weep again as the door closes behind the two women.

"So am I mother but I know that Kate loves her and they can communicate. I'm so glad Kate talked to her already. I think that this is going to be a bumpy road but I feel confident that Alexis can come through it."

"I certainly hope so. I hope the bastards that did this paid for it, this poor girl did nothing to deserve such a curse." Martha says as she makes her way to the kitchen for some water.

"Mother." Castle says softly not looking at her.

"Yes Richard?" she responds turning to look at him.

Now somber and pained he looks at her, horrible darkness written all over his features. In a hushed voice he says "Mother, I _watched_ them die. I saw them blown up by a small bomb. Their blood and guts splattered across walls, floor and ceiling. They _suffered_, it _hurt_ and _they got what they deserved_ and Alexis _will_ overcome this nightmare and grow from it." the shadows in his eyes show his mother just how much of the slaughter he witnessed.

"Oh my boy, are _you_ alright?" she asks, now shocked and concerned for her son's welfare.

"My gauge for that is directly tied to that little girl." he says pointing in the direction of the doorway "If she's doing well then I am. Until she's happy, there's _nothing_ that can stand in my way to help her and _nothing_ that will make me feel better." he says squeezing his eyes shut to fight back another urge to cry for his baby.

"It's alright Richard, like you said, she will overcome it all." she says pulling him into a motherly embrace.

"Thank you mother, thank you for everything." after a short pause punctuated with small sobs he continues "As much as I want to wail and cleanse my soul, we need to clean up and give her as much of a feeling of normalcy as we can or at least that's what I think." he says regaining his composure. "I'll start doing some cleaning up here to burn off some of that energy myself."

"I'll help you." Martha offers as she starts to gather up popcorn leftovers and other such things. "Richard, how do we go about finding someone to help her?"

"Kate has resources at the department and friends who work in the SVU, they will have suggestions since they deal with this type of trauma all the time. Don't forget the time Alexis saved her friend Kim from that jerk that spiked her drink. The SVU people will remember Alexis and will be glad to help her. I know that Doctor Parish, Lanie will do what she can to help so we're not lacking in that area. As a matter of fact, Lanie is taking Alexis out tomorrow to do something Kate described as 'life-affirming'. By noon tomorrow she'll have her first appointment booked as will I. I need to know what to do to help her through this. The only thing between her and..." his voice cracks as his throat tightens abruptly "her..." he takes another sudden deep stuttering breath "and... her... well-being is time. The one thing we have to remember is patience."


	8. Chapter 8

As the two women leave the building they are suddenly engulfed by the cool crisp night air. Kate can see apprehension on Alexis' face.

"Are you alright with being out here?" She asks the young woman.

"I feel exposed. I don't think I've ever felt like this before. I know you're here so I feel safe but I still feel funny." she says looking around quickly.

"If at _any_ time it gets to be too much or if you feel like it is starting to get to you, please say something right away so we can keep it from getting too bad."

"I will. Thank you."

Zipping up her coat, Kate elbow nudges Alexis giving a head nod in a direction up the sidewalk and the two begin to walk together.

"I'm still shaky after what just happened." Alexis says stuffing her hands deep into her pockets.

"That's normal after a dose of adrenalin like that. It will pass. That's why we're out here, to walk and burn it off and help you relax." Beckett explains putting her hand on Alexis' back. "Alexis, I'm sure you already know but I have to say it. I'm not a professional therapist. I don't know enough to guide you through this. If you'd like to talk to _my_ therapist, by all means, I encourage it. I'm sure that your father has already gotten a list of names ready to start dialing in the morning. I'll make sure he has Doctor Burke's information. I trust Burke. He's gotten me through a great deal of crap. Your father's met him too."

Alexis is surprised "He has? When was that?"

"Yeah, he met him after we... um..."

"_Awkward!"_ Alexis quickly says humorously.

Kate quickly recovers "Hey! I was going to say after your father and I decided to call ourselves a couple. After the first meeting your dad made some foolish crack on the way out that he reminded him of a guy from a science fiction show but I tuned him out right away, I didn't want to hear it."

"My dad? Say something foolish? _Oh say it ain't so!_" Alexis says with a little laugh feigning shock with her hand over her heart.

"You're channeling your grandmother a little _too_ well there missy." Kate says giving her a smile and a shoulder bump.

Crossing the street together, Kate continues "Back to the point at hand, the only thing I can offer you is companionship while you work your way through it. I've had my experiences which are different than yours but share some commonality. I can't give you much advice but I'll share the ride with you." she says with a smile.

Without looking up, Alexis speaks in a soft voice "Thank you Kate. Thank you for just being here and helping my... sorry... _our_ family through all of this. I think my dad would have collapsed by now if he didn't have you to talk to and that would have driven Grams into the ground too."

The reiteration of the familial statement still takes Kate's breath away but she fights to control it and after a short pause "Alexis, there's no need to thank me. I'm honored to be able to help. Everyone has done so much for me in so many ways that I can't even list them all. To be able to help when I can is... I guess that it's yet _another_ gift to me. To allow me the privilege to give back is..." as her voice fades off.

After a block or so, Alexis speaks up. "Kate?"

"Hmmm?" she answers quietly.

"Please tell me if I ask you something that is too personal." Alexis says sheepishly.

"Of course I will but please feel free to ask me anything." Kate says patting Alexis' shoulder. "I'd also like to reiterate something that I said before, I still haven't forgotten the amount of trouble and pain I've caused. I want to try to make up for some of that."

"You said that you've had that happen to you too?"

Kate smiles at the question "Yes I have. Some are just waking up startled and some are bad dreams that wake me up."

"What sort of dreams... What happens in... When you... I mean what are _your_ dreams like... if you don't mind my asking?" Alexis asks without looking up.

"I don't mind your asking. I told you before, nothing is out of bounds. I hope you understand if I'm vague about some parts." Kate answers. Then considering the question she begins "So... My dreams... I've had a gamut of them and I don't remember all of them of course. There's the usual ones, show up to school or work naked..."

"Really?" Alexis asks with a humorous edge.

"Yup. I think that's one of those things that's ubiquitous. Everyone seems to have had that one in one form or another. Then there's the slightly wackier ones, everything from kissing or having... _ahem..._ ummm... let's say getting _involved_ with a random stranger or some good looking guy on the subway." Kate offers "There's also stranger ones, I once had one where my ticket book was all in some strange language that I didn't speak. I didn't have a clue what to do. I woke up from that one sweating big-time I was _soaked_. Another time I woke up once singing some bizarre musical number at the top of my lungs."

"Okay, now that's funny." Alexis laughs at her.

"You'd think so but no, it wasn't. Had _all_ my windows open. Didn't want to run into my neighbors for weeks. I probably would have been less embarrassed if they heard me having loud... umm... well... y'know." suddenly realizing she doesn't want to have this discussion with the young girl she avoids her gaze and moves on "Then of course my first officer-involved shooting caused a lot of sleepless nights. Some of those were really bad. I've had weird ones where there's hundreds of boxes of paperwork being dumped onto my desk that I had to sort out. Foolish as it sounds, that's still a very frightening thing. Woke up over that one too, sheets and blankets all over the floor. Then, my more recent ones, which were intensified by my shooting. These are the ones that hit me from nowhere. Things like standing over a member of my team who's dying and I can't do anything about it. Or watching..." Kate pauses, to collect herself a bit "Or watching someone I... care about... get shot or stabbed. I've also had..." she clears her throat again.

"Kate, I get it, you don't need to continue, it's too hard." Alexis offers wrapping her arm around the other's while they continue to walk.

Kate half-smiles at the girl "You really are amazing. You know that? Are you _sure_ you're related to same Richard Castle I've met?" taking a deep breath as they continue to walk "Alexis, it's not that it's too hard, it just takes some work. It helps me to face it in some cases. I've also had dreams where I... where I watch... my mother... and I can't stop it... no matter how hard... no matter how hard I try, I can't save her... I see those... over and over again at times." she struggles to say.

Taking a moment to collect herself, Kate continues "Most of mine are directly stress related. I also know that some of the dreams aren't just because I got shot, some of them are job related. I know other cops who have them too. I've also known cops who've had them so bad they've retired or quit completely. The cops that deal with children as victims seem to have some of the worst. Some people drink to avoid the dreams. It doesn't work but they say you don't remember them as much. Alexis, no matter how much you want to think otherwise, your dreams are probably pretty normal."

"Thanks Kate. And thanks for sharing that. I do feel a little better knowing that they're not unique. Did you ever... you know, do what I did to dad?"

"Yes. I'm sad to say, a lot more than once or twice. One caused me to wake up suddenly, swinging away to defend myself in my dream and I broke my boyfriend's nose. He was sleeping away and **blam** he's got a broken nose. We'll file that one under the heading of _not a good experience_ if you don't mind." she says making light of it. "To summarize, yes, I've broken a lot of bedside lamps and alarm clocks and... a nose."

"Ouch! Did he stay your boyfriend after that?" Alexis asks with a small giggle.

"That wasn't what broke us up. His hitting on one of my coworkers, during a party I was _with him at_, is what did it." Kate says.

"Oh. That sucks. Were you friends with her?" Alexis asks.

Kate winces a little "It was a him. We weren't friends until after the jerk dumped him too. Then we were friends for a while. We used to go out for drinks to gripe about men. He moved to some place in Missouri I think. Never heard from him again. Let me tell you, as a woman, getting dumped by a _guy_ for another _guy_ leaves a bruise on your ego."

"Ugh! Eww, that must hurt. We're all so conditioned to be uber-feminine to get our guy and then have that happen. Damn. That smarts." Alexis says making a sour face.

"Exactly. Took me a couple of months to get over myself and realize it wasn't about me. Okay, truth is, I also got some _merciless_ ribbing from my partner too. He thought it was funny as hell to rub my nose in it. That helped but I'd never tell him that. I also would never let him know I think I deserved it, he was right." she says smiling.

"I think you're right about professional help. I feel a bit like a cliché, a rich kid going to therapy, but it does seem to be the right thing to do."

"Hey kid, I'm a big tough homicide detective and I can do it so there's no reason you can't." She says laughing. "Don't forget, you're not going because you can't cope with getting a B in a class or you didn't get the color car you wanted." Spotting an all night bakery Kate suggests a detour "Hey, let's pop in here and get something to munch on while we walk."

"Great idea! I'll buy!" Alexis offers, the relief of going inside and out of the open plainly showing in her body-language.

"I don't know if I should allow that, isn't that considered bribery?" Kate teases.

"No more than my dad giving you a cup of coffee every morning." she smirks.

"Touché got me got me there. Any suggestions on what's good here?" Kate asks while Alexis places her order.

"I didn't get it this time but you should try their pistachio muffin." Alexis says taking her purchase off the counter.

"Okay, I'll try it." Kate says placing her order.

"Any idea why it happened tonight and not before?" Alexis asks softly while digging at her muffin in the bag.

"Any idea I give would be nothing more than wild uneducated guesses. I simply don't know. You will have to ask the doctor about that." Kate says taking her order from the cashier as they head for the door. "I know one thing you'll be asked and I suspect it'd be good for you to think about, why do _you_ think it might have happened tonight?"

"I will." she says and then, obviously still pondering the question "I wonder if I've woken up _startled_ before but didn't notice because I was alone."

"Good question. It's something to wonder but, since you're not thirty yet, you can't be dating so you'll be waking up alone for a while still." Kate says laughing.

"Oh good. Last time I talked to my dad and the subject came up, he had upped the age to _forty_."

"Hey, you're right, this muffin is great." Kate declares as they exit the store.

"If you get one of their blueberry muffins when they come out of the oven, you'll think you're in heaven."

After a thoughtful pause, Alexis poses "I wonder if it was because I slept better. I'm going to have to ask the doctor about that too."

"You haven't been sleeping?" Kate asks concerned.

"Not like I did on the couch tonight. I zonked right out. I suspect it was the first time since... y'know... that I felt normal. Good food, some laughs, some family time, then off I went to dream-land. Since we've gotten home I don't think I've slept more than three hours at once. I seem to always wake up, look at the clock, roll over, lay there for a while and then drift off again."

"Well, again, I don't know and the doctor's the one who can judge this the best. You're right to ask yourself these questions and consider answers, they help you examine yourself but you need to discuss those questions _and_ the answers with your doctor."

"You're right of course. Do you think we should we be getting back?" Alexis asks sounding worried.

"That's up to you. If you still feel exposed, then we can get back inside here or go back to your home. Personally, I don't have a curfew, how about you?"

Alexis laughs at that, a wonderful sound after the events leading up to now. "I suppose even dad can't worry, I'm under police protection. He's wanted to do this to me since I started to figure out that there's a difference between girls and boys." she says with a smirk.

Wrapping an arm through her's Kate laughs too "Oh he must have been a nightmare. I know my dad was but he wasn't a wild-child like your dad seems to have been. Your's must have worried that there's more Rick Castle in you than he's comfortable with."

"I'm sure of it." Alexis says. "Speaking of... Let me send him a text to get him to stop chewing on his fingernails and let him know we're okay."

Releasing her arm Kate shakes her head "I haven't got the foggiest notion of where you actually come from. To think that you are the offspring of Richard and Meredith Castle with a side of Martha Rogers is an anomaly of genetics and nurture theory."

Laughing again, Alexis pulls out her phone and composes a quick message. _"dad, were ok. met some bikers and going to get tattoos, stop chewing on your nails. luv AC"_ and sends it. "This will make him laugh." as she shows the message to Kate.

"Oh geeze, you are as bad as me! I poke him with silly stuff like that too. Now I know why it doesn't make him really crazy when I do it. I'll send him an assurance one. I like teasing him but I think he could use some rest tonight." Kate says pulling out her phone and composing a message _"calm down dad. all under control. no tattoos. things r going well. - K"_ and sends it off to him.

"Okay, he's now been peeled off the ceiling, let's keep walking, it's a bit chilly out here." Alexis offers.

"Sure. Let's head that way." Kate says nodding her head down a different street but keeping to the well lit ones.

The young girl, hands in her pockets, stares at the sidewalk in front of them while they walk for a few moments then in a timid voice starts "I have a strange question for you. When Sarah and I were..." her voice trailing off to silence while they walk.

Kate knows a deep conversation is being worked on and she reassures her with a pat on the shoulder and waits for her to continue the conversation.

After a while she tries again "We were..." ... "When we woke up..." ... "When I came to in the..." ... "I realized that..."

"It's okay Alexis, take your time. You can always just say what's on your mind, you don't have to get it right the first time, it's just us here. There's nothing you can say that I'd consider strange so say or ask anything you want."

"Thanks. This is all so unfamiliar." Alexis says blowing out a deep breath "When... the drugs... wore off and... I woke up, I wasn't... I was disoriented and confused but... I wasn't terrified. I was scared and apprehensive but not terrified. I... I don't know how... why... I wasn't frozen in panic. I looked around and began assessing our situation. To try and figure out where we were, what happened, and what sort of trouble we were in."

"Seriously?" Kate asks with a smile.

"I know, weird, right?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Kate asks.

"You agree that it's weird to be like that?" Alexis asks.

Kate laughs and gives Alexis a hug "Alexis, no, that's not weird! Weird is being happy that you're in that situation! Weird is not caring about it at all."

"You don't think it was strange that I didn't panic?"

"No, not at _**all!**_" Kate says trying to sound reassuring. "Your dad must be absolutely over-the-moon with this little fact."

"Oh." Alexis says quietly.

"Let me guess. You haven't told him." Kate asks.

Sheepishly as if being admonished by the principal she confesses "No. I don't want to disappoint him."

"Alexis, The only way you'd be able to come close to disappointing your dad would be to not try your best and not accomplish what you want. Do you remember when you didn't get into Stanford?"

"Yeah," Alexis sighs "he was disappointed _then_. I remember his face. He's told me otherwise but I know he was unhappy that I didn't get in there."

"No he wasn't. He wasn't disappointed in _you_. He was disappointed _for_ you. He was disappointed that a place you wanted to go to school didn't have the good sense to welcome you with open arms. He hated that you were looking to move so far away but he was really pissed that you didn't get what you wanted. Sorry kid, you failed to disappoint him." she says with a chuckle and a cute pat on the head for Alexis.

Continuing, Kate gets more serious "_Everyone_ has different levels where they begin to panic and freak out. It shows an incredible fortitude of character for someone to be in such a situation and keep their head. For someone as young as you, it's an admirable and unusual trait. Someone who can keep their head like that is a born leader. It's someone who I'd like to have on my side in a tight spot." she says seriously then after a pause "I'll tell you right now, when the zombie apocalypse starts, I want you on _my_ team." she says laughing.

"You really think so? I mean Sarah was all doom and gloom when she came to. She spent a while in the bathroom crying her eyes out. She was all expecting to be killed or sold off into slavery or organ harvesting or something. I had to keep calming her down."

Kate smiles at the anguish the young woman is experiencing and puts her hand on the shoulder closest to her "Yes Alexis, I really think so. I really really do. Truth be told, I think Sarah's response is what I'd expect from most people."

"Sarah said her dad had some corporate security guy give her instructions on what to do if kidnapped and she was still confused and terrified."

"The fact of the matter is, _most_ people have no idea what they'll do in a critical situation until after it is too late. Most of us on the force don't know for sure what's going to happen either, we're put into situations in training to try and give us a taste of what we may confront and what we may have to do to survive them but we still don't know for sure _until_ it happens."

"Wow." the young girl says looking down at the sidewalk intently as they continue to walk. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you're just saying that to make me feel better." she says quietly.

"Your father told me a long time ago that he always told you the truth and, without being a parent myself, without any experience of my own other than having been a child, I have to defer to his judgment. You ask me a question, I'll tell you the truth or I'll tell you why I can't answer it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really and if you _dare_ tell your dad I said that, you're going to regret it." she says in her most authoritative _police detective_ voice but fails miserably and can't stop smiling and almost laughing.

After a few moments of walking in companionable quiet Alexis breaks the silence "Kate?"

"Hmmm?" she asks.

"Your going to be a great mom. I think any kid would be lucky to have you as a parent." Alexis says with a gentle shoulder bump.

It takes all the resolve and effort Detective Kate Beckett has to not break down and cry right there. She fights it back and will deal with it later. "Thank you very much Alexis." she says softly with a crack in her voice.

After walking in silence for a while Kate speaks up "Sorry to switch topics but I've been wondering, how _did_ you two escape?"

"I thought I told you, sorry. I forget who I've told what so far." Alexis explains "We got the door open and then we..."

Kate interrupts "Sorry, how did you get the door open to begin with? Did they leave it unlatched?"

A little sheepishly Alexis explains "Well... Um... Sarah had hair-pins in her hair and I took them and I sorta picked the lock."

"**You picked the door lock?**" Kate exclaims.

"Ummmm Yeah?"

"Did you tell your dad this?" Kate asks almost laughing.

Unsure now, Alexis doesn't know what to say "I... Um... No, we haven't discussed it. Dad's been giving me space and only the past day have we begun to talk about any of it. I told the doctor at the embassy but I don't think he really listened. I think he just wanted to give us the physicals and get back to his business."

"Alexis, if you wanted to give him the best present you ever could, you should write that down and put it in a box with a bow."

"You think so?"

"Oh god _yes_! He's going to be _insufferable_ when you tell him this! I don't want to be around him for weeks after he gets this this news." Kate laughs.

"You don't think it was dangerous and risky?" she asks.

"Yes it _was_ risky _and_ dangerous, no question about it but it was also daring, clever and probably a calculated risk. There were a limited number of options available to you. You picked one. Based on the limited information that _I_ have available to me right now, as far as I can see, no one expected you guys to be able to escape and it stood a chance of potentially saving your life as well as Sarah's." Kate explains as she tries to keep the conversation upbeat. "You were already in danger, you had been kidnapped! The other thing your actions were was _amazingly courageous_. As you can imagine I know a lot of _tough guys_. I live in a world that's permeated by testosterone and bravado and I'll bet you, that put in that same situation, less than half of them would dare to try what you did."

Alexis' only reaction is a quiet and subtle "Oh."

"Come on." the detective says putting her arm around the girl's shoulders "Let's keep walking." guiding her while the reality of the the statements crashes in on Alexis' young mind. After letting Alexis ponder things for a while, Kate continues the conversation. "What was Sarah saying and doing this whole time?"

"Huh?" Alexis says snapping out of her thoughts.

Smiling Kate asks the question again "What was Sarah's reaction during this?"

"Well, she was spastic at the prospect of splitting up and trying to escape. I had to talk her down and keep reassuring her she could do it."

"You two split up?" Kate asks trying to keep her voice flat and even.

"Um... yeah, I decided that since they were making an obvious effort to keep us safe and unharmed that they thought we were of more value unhurt so we could push the limits a bit and splitting up increased our chances of success by allowing us to try two different routes out of the building." Alexis answers trying to not sound like a fool.

"Seriously?"

Feeling awkward Alexis thinks for a second before answering "Yes."

"You decided that _after_ you picked the lock and opened the door?" Kate asks trying to clarify her understanding.

"No, it was decided before I got the door open... Kinda while I was picking it... Why?"

"Let me ask you something, what did you tell Sarah at that moment?"

"I know it was foolish, I'm sorry."

"No Alexis, really, humor me for a moment. When you were picking the lock and opened the door, what did you tell Sarah?"

"I told her that she was going to do what we'd discussed, if we come to a break in a hallway, we'll each go a different route to try and escape."

"You literally said that to her, right there, as you opened the door?"

"I'm sorry Kate, I know it was stupid."

"Stupid?"

"I know." Alexis says dejected.

"No you don't." Kate answers without looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Alexis..." Kate says shaking her head in amazement "Alexis, what you did was... well, down right ballsy. What you did is... Wow. I can't even imagine having that much composure at your age. That's something right out of one of your dad's books."

"You don't think it was stupid?" Alexis asks, sliding back into the mindset of a timid teenager.

Calmly, Kate explains "Based on what I've heard and know so far, you weighed options and risks then chose a best case scenario as a course of action and put it into motion. Stupid? _My god no_. I was right, that was freakin' ballsy. You're incredible."

"Ahh... Thanks?"

"No Alexis, I don't think you get it. I know a lot of people who spent time in the military, one thing I've learned from talking to them as well as my own observation in a hierarchical environment is that _great_ leaders, the people who others trust _instinctively_, have some common characteristics. One of them is just what you did. Control reactions, assess the situation, make a decision without second guessing themselves, devise a plan of action, manage those under them by instilling confidence and singularity of purpose in them, then taking the lead and _doing it_ and living with the consequences, right or wrong. Alexis... My dear Alexis." the detective says rubbing circles on the girl's back "If you only understood how amazing your actions have been. Tell you what. Some time when you feel you can discuss it with someone else, ask Javi about it, I'll bet you one of those blueberry muffins that he'll be amazed and he's one of the most courageous people I know. Well, that is until I met you."

Tears are now flowing down Alexis' cheeks. As they continue to walk Kate wraps her arm around her shoulder and pulls her tight letting the girl flush out the emotions, anxiety, and uncertainty she's been holding on to.

Weaving their way around while staying only a few blocks from the loft they continue to walk together, Kate watching over Alexis, helping her face the thoughts and worries.

"Kate, I know it's redundant but thank you for everything." Alexis says without looking up. "I feel better, I really do."

"I'm glad. I'm glad that I've been able to help you. I want you to remember, if you need me for _**anything**_ you are to call me, any time, day or night. If I'm seriously busy, y'know, taking down a criminal, in a gunfight, or dealing with one of your father's wacky theories, you'll end up getting my voice mail. Leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I humanly can."

"Hey, look where we are. I didn't even pay attention, we're home again." Alexis says. As the pair walks into the building and waits for the elevator. "I think that you might end up suffering the worst from this experience."

"How do you figure?" Kate asks as they get into the elevator.

"My dad. You poor thing." Alexis says "His off-the-wall spy theories are going to go into hyper-drive. You're never going to be able to shut him up about them now." she laughs.

"Awwww geeze! I never thought of that! Great, just what I needed. I wonder if I can get him transferred. Maybe traffic division can use an annoying writer to spice things up for a while." Kate jokes.

As the elevator stops on their floor, Alexis gives a gentle shoulder bump to Kate "I know you said I didn't need to but I'll say it again anyway, thanks for everything. Thanks for listening. Thanks for protecting us. Thanks for helping me. Thanks for putting up with my dad."

"Alexis, anytime." then after a thoughtful pause "Always."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note:**_  
I forgot to put a special thank you int the last chapter to phnxgrl who has helped me redirect some of the conversations the two women had and the overall direction that it went. She gave me a lot of advice and listened to a lot of rambling on my part. **"Thank you!"**

* * *

"Weeerrr baaaackk!" Alexis says opening the door.

"Hey there! Feeling better?" Castle says as he comes out of his office.

"Yes I am. I'm not shaking anymore and I feel more relaxed." She said giving her father a hug.

"Let me have your coat Alexis." Kate asks from behind her. Sharing a wink with Rick. Their ability to communicate without words working to their advantage, Rick learning that his daughter has gotten a lot out of her system and is feeling better.

"How about you dad? Are you going to have a black eye?" she asks concerned.

"Naaa, really it was a light bump considering. I got more of a whack from that box that fell on my head in the storage area than what you did. Really, nothing to it." he says hugging his daughter.

"Alexis! Kate! I thought I heard you girls come back." Martha calls from the stairs.

"Grams!" The young girl calls as she hurries over to give her grandmother a hug. "I'm sorry I scared you earlier."

"Oh my dear, think nothing of it. I haven't gotten to be this age with your father around without being able to stand a little scare like that." she coos.

"Here Kate, I'll hang those up for you." Rick says heading over to her and taking her and Alexis' coats. Now whispering "Thank you, she seems to have unloaded a lot."

"She has. Details later." Kate whispers back as she takes off her sneakers.

"Alexis, I'll make sure your dad has my therapist's name on his list for you to consider okay?" Kate calls out.

"Thanks Kate! I appreciate it." Alexis calls out releasing her grandmother from a tight hug.

Martha, a little surprised looks at Kate quizzically for a moment then smiles.

Kate, noticing the look, explains "Martha, I'd like to say it's all his" nodding her head towards Rick "fault but it's not. Partially a job requirement not to mention helpful for other reasons. If it weren't for Doctor Burke, I don't think I'd be here right now with this family."

"I'm glad to hear that. Alexis will have someone to talk with about the experience." Martha says. "I'm sorry to say that I grew up in an age when that just wasn't done. My first therapists were named Jim Beam and Johnny Walker. I've had a couple of real ones since then but have been on an even keel for a long time. Partially due to this little darling right here." she says hugging Alexis "Also..." now mouthing the word "him" and pointing at her son with a smile.

Kate understands the family dynamic they have and how the each help each other out. "Alexis, what's going on with school? Do you need anything? I can run over and pick up anything you need. Have you talked to any of your professors?"

"Thanks for the reminder! I was going to call the Dean of students today but didn't get to it. I figured that I'd do it tomorrow. I'm still trying to come up with a plausible story that I can tell her without exposing any of the secrets. I know I have the official press release but I know she's going to ask questions and I don't want to stumble."

"Okay, if you need help, let me know, we talked to her for this case and she knows me, I'll be glad to go in and talk to her if it helps. As it is I have to go to provide some documentation to the school about the bodyguard that got killed." Kate offers.

"Thanks, I'll let you know tomorrow if I have to do that." Alexis says smiling. "If you folks don't mind, I'm going to go to bed. I'm all warn out from... _everything_."

As the three adults concur Alexis makes her rounds of goodnights. Her first stop is Kate "Thank you so very much for everything."

"You're welcome dear. Goodnight."

Then her father. "G'night dad. Sorry for the scare and the whack."

"Think nothing of it, I probably deserved it. However, the tattoo thing was _soooo_ not funny." he says with a big smile and hug. "Alexis, you might want to leave your door cracked open when you are ready to go to sleep in case you wake up in the middle of the night, the hall night-light and familiar surroundings might keep you from being disoriented.

"Okay dad, that sounds like a good idea. Thanks."

Then her grandmother "Grams, I'm sorry I scared you too."

"Oh dear, come on, let's get upstairs." as they turn to walk up together "You didn't scare me... well, not very much at least. I'm just happy that you're going to be alright." as the pair fade off at the top of the stairs.

"Hey there writer-man. How are you doing after all this?" Kate asks walking over to him.

He responds by snatching her up into a big bear hug, kissing her neck and saying "Thank you so very much for being here and helping her."

Although the wind was knocked out of her slightly she returns the hug and tells him "Really, it's okay. I am honored to be able to help her. I owe you and the rest of the family so much for everything you've done for me."

As he puts her down and releases his hold on her he wipes away a few of his own tears and coughs out "You don't _owe _us a damn thing. What could we possibly have done to engender such a debt?"

She takes his hand while whispering in his ear "Saved my life - multiple times, gave me a reason to really live, and then helped me come out from behind my walled fortress." as she leads him to bed. "We need some sleep of our own too." she says closing the bedroom door.

After a moment he tells her "I never told my mother you were in therapy or anything like that."

"I know. That's why I said it. I'm not going to hide from the thing that helps me hang onto this." she finishes giving him a light peck on the lips. "I am not afraid of it being known between us. Outside of this group, it does worry me that it carries with it too much negative connotation."

"Damn." he says.

"What?"

"You never cease to amaze me. There's always something else buried in the Beckett onion that just knocks me out. I said it a long time ago and I still think it, _I'm still amazed by the depths of your strength, and your heart_" after a beat "Your hotness goes without question or rival." he says smiling.

"Your's either there mister writer-man. I need to clean up and get some sleep. Some of us have to work in the morning." she teases.

"Okay okay, I get it. I'm exhausted too. Last part of the conversation. I already decided, I'm going to go see Doctor Burke, if he'll have me, for a few sessions and see if I can get Alexis into a couple of family ones. I think you know that I don't keep secrets from her and I feel like there's a lot she doesn't know about what went on here."

"There you go again making sense. I've gotten some details out of her and yes, you absolutely should exchange stories with her. You're going to _freak out_ when you find out some of the stuff your daughter did. That kid is something. I renew my demand for DNA proof of relations. To think that she is the product of Meredith and Richard Castle is pretty damn amazing."

"You don't think I wonder that too?" he laughs.

Kate perks up a bit and looks a little more serious "I just thought of something you might want to consider, you probably want to use an alias for her so that her name doesn't send up any red flags. She's of an age when people might be able to get to her records easier and that sort of thing might cause her trouble. Again, there are those out there who don't understand the need for such help."

"Very _good_ detective! I'll have you know that my first call in the morning is to my lawyers who will be contacting the doctor's office with a non-disclosure agreement which in a case like this will be what sets up being able to use her real name safely." he smiles.

"Hey Rick, switching gears, did you call Paula and Gina since all this ended?" she asks from the sink in the bathroom.

"Thanks for asking, yes I did just today. Thank you for calling them when you did. Gina was pretty ticked that she couldn't call me and ride me to get the stuff I owed her. She said she was in her office making phone calls and she was due to call me about an hour after you called her. If you hadn't stopped her..." his voice trails off as he shakes his head, obviously aware of how badly the situation would have turned "When I called her, she started fuming about it, loudly, then I explained to her what happened she calmed down a good bit and then asked if I had made it up to avoid the deadline. I wasn't mad at her question either. She's right, it _does_ sound like something I'd make up. I emailed her the official release about it and she was dumbfounded. Gina, as you know, is all business, she knows what to say and when to say it but she was silent for the longest time. She said she had to read it twice. Then, in what can only be considered a miracle, Gina the business woman stepped aside and got personal, she actually was concerned for Alexis and my mother. She didn't really ask about me, I'm not sure why but I suspect it's just the usual complicated estranged relationship stuff but I don't care."

"I'm glad that it worked out with her." Kate says as she slides under the covers to stay warm while he continues his nightly ritual.

Rick continues to tell her about the calls "I wish you'd heard the call to Paula, she was _**incensed**_ when she finally picked up her phone and then almost as quickly she calmed down and asked what happened. I emailed her the official release while I was on the phone with her and she started to choke up. It was touching. She knows us and she's been around us for a while. She and Alexis, while not a great relationship, are quite friendly and talk easily when they meet. She asked if we needed anything and then said she'd prepare something to release later. She thanked you for calling her too. Then she told me that she hates you."

"_**What?**_" Kate almost jumps out of the covers until she sees Rick smiling at her.

"Yeah, she said that you're almost too good to be true and if you weren't so nice, she'd _really_ despise you." he says smiling. "She asked me how I got so lucky."

"What'd you tell her?"

"I told her the truth, I still don't know for sure." he says with a big grin on his face as he disappears back into the bathroom.

Kate lies down again and pulls the covers up to her chin feeling the warmth and thinking to herself "So who's the lucky one?"

"Kate?" he asks sticking his head out of the bathroom. "You okay?"

"Umm... Yeah. Why?"

"I thought I lost you for a second. I asked how are _you_ doing?" he says returning to his business.

"I'm doing fine. I'm glad the ordeal is over. Gates has assigned me a couple of small projects and taken me out of the rotation so that I can get them done. I suspect she might have grown a heart and is just keeping me off the street and taking it easy on me but I'm not sure. However, the projects she's given me are real projects and are taking time and keeping me busy without putting me and my team in harm's way. It's also giving Ryan and Espo some chances to take lead on cases and I can still watch them."

As she finishes he slides into his side of the bed, turns off the light and snuggles up to her under the covers. Their warmth combining to help sooth their nerves. Now speaking softly to each other they continue the sharing of their days. "It sounds like she might be softening a bit."

She smiles, stroking the hair on the back of his neck "I told you what Gates said when you finished with the FBI agent the first time around right?"

"No, I don't think so. You might have but I can't recall." he says apologetically.

Kate, snuggling even closer says "Don't apologize. She looked at you walking out of the bullpen and simply said 'Detective, whatever it takes, get his little girl back.' and she told me that I had her full support and could use any resource I needed."

"Iron Gates said that?" he exclaims incredulously.

"Shhhh... Yes. I would have been stunned but we had to concentrate on what needed to be done. I'm sure you already know but everyone was involved and worked their asses off to get her back. Ryan was really freaked out. Javi, Javi was probably grinding his teeth, he looked like he could bite off steel. Lanie was simply freaked out. She was _all business_ when she had a task to do and when she finally ran out of work to keep busy, I was told that she sat in her office with the shades drawn and cried her eyes out."

"I wish I knew how I could tell them all how much this means to me and thank them properly." he says softly.

"Rick, quite frankly, I don't think anyone could. Remember, they each did it because you and Alexis are family. Like I said before, they're _your_ coworkers too."

"I guess that's a challenge then. Tomorrow I'll work with Alexis to find her someone to see. I have Doctor Burke's info already so that's covered. Which reminds me, should I call someone in SVU? I suspect that she'd have better luck finding someone who _really_ specializes in trauma like this through them. Alexis will make the final decision but I want to help her as much as I can."

"I will call the guy who handled the case of Kim and Alexis getting drugged by that jerk. He'll be very helpful. Normally they'd never suggest anyone but to another cop he won't hesitate and I'm sure he remembers Alexis after that incident, he's the one who wanted to offer her a job." Kate says rubbing his arms.

"Hey Kate, what was the thing about Lanie taking Alexis out?" he asks after a few moments of snuggling comfortably.

"I sent her a text while I was working with Alexis in the kitchen. When Lanie gets _really_ down and depressed, it can be severe and she goes to one of the local hospitals where she knows someone and she volunteers in the maternity ward to cuddle babies. She goes in for a couple of hours and cuddles these newborns to help them grow. She says that she gets more out of it than the babies do. It's very life-affirming. She said she was going to go tomorrow and I asked her to bring Alexis along. Getting to see some good will help her lose some of the darkness she's experienced."

"Yet again, you're wonderful." Castle says nuzzling her neck.

"Thank you Mr Castle, you're not so bad yourself."

He perks up a smidgen and asks her "I been meaning to ask you, why did you decide to talk to her while you were in the kitchen? That was a clever idea and it seems very effective."

"Learned that one from my mother. She used to do that to me. Took me a week of cooking with her to get over that thing of being thrown into the boy's shower at school."

"Smart lady." he says quietly.

"Yeah, she was." Kate says with a touch of sadness.

"I'm sure she was but I was talking about you." he says giving her a squeeze.

"Thank you. What say we get some shut eye?" she says as she snuggles up to him.

"Yes, good idea. I have one more thing to say. You just proved that your mother is still with you and she always will be."

She can't even respond to that, they both just tighten their hold on each other and they drift off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note:**_  
Welcome to the continuing saga of Frankinstory. This was supposed to be a one-shot but it has turned into an adventure.  
For those who have stayed with the story, thank you for spending your time here.  
I hope I do everyone's expectations justice and don't let you down.

* * *

As the sun creeps over the horizon, he stirs awake. For the first time since they got home, he wakes slowly instead of snapping alert. Slowly, lazily, he returns to this plane. He feels the warmth against him of his partner and even the temperature of her body is familiar and pleasant. He knows without opening his eyes who it is, the feel of her form pressed to his chest is just right, her steady breathing a mesmerizing rhythm of comfortable and familiar notes, the smell of her skin, clean but alive, and that delightful sent of cherry. It all spells the most magical of words, the word _home_. He is home. All is right with the world again. He is home with his baby and his mother and the ying for his yang, the only person who provides to him the missing half of his being that he never new existed and now he now can't live without.

He gently slips from her side and pads out of the room, across the loft and up the stairs to check on his daughter. As he reaches the top of the steps, he can see her sleeping form through the crack in the the bedroom door. He listens to the tell-tale noises of her even and peaceful slumbering and is reassured that the nightmare they lived has ended and the healing has begun.

Slowly, contently, he descends the stairs quietly. He stops in the middle of his home and looks around taking it all in. Peace has settled on the family now and he can relax. Taking a deep breath he walks to the wall of windows that overlooks the city.

The city will never look quite the same to him. The dangers that lurk in the shadows, having been made real, cast on an ominous pall over the beauty of the city and are now being chased back into the nether regions of the corners and cracks by the rising sun, ready to come forth again without warning to snare another unsuspecting victim.

He doesn't hear her approach, he feels it, the subtle change in the electricity that courses through their souls tells him she is near. Her arms slowly and gently wrapping around his waist, pulling her nearer to him. "Okay?" she whispers, her head resting on his back between his shoulder blades, eyes closed, reveling in the feeling, her voice hardly above a breath, heard not by his ears as much as his being. His hands coming up to cover her's, to hold her hands tighter. The question, a one-word question, simple and succinct. He knows the volumes of information she asks. He knows that the one word is all encompassing. With that one word she has asked about every corner of his universe, everything he holds dear. Everything. That one word carries in it emotions, concern, hope, love, balm, peace and her commitment. That word asks all the questions from the big to the small.

Smiling easily now, for the first time in days. He answers gently by just nodding his head slowly. Their communication so clear, she doesn't need to look to hear his positive response. Quietly his voice rumbles in his torso as he tells her what he sees "It is the same city it was a week ago but so much has changed. I see so many hazards where I never did before. I see beauty in things I'd taken for granted. I see terror and hatred standing next to love and peace. I never wanted my daughter to have the beautiful part of all of this taken from her. My baby didn't deserve this. I'm going to help her see the beauty in the world again."

She reassures him with a gentle tightening of her arms about his waist. It reassures him that she is here for him. She holds his desire as high as she holds her own. She tells him that it is a journey they will take together. She feels the warmth of his body against her's and she gives it back to him. Letting him know that he'll never be alone again. That should he stumble, she will be there to help him up again. That she knows that she can depend on him to always be there for her. That she holds his child and her well-being, in as much reverence as she does her own well-being or his. That without even opening her eyes, she sees what he sees. She thinks what he thinks. That she too, shares her heart with him and accepts his in return.

The two, stand there as one, watching the amber streaks of light chase the shadows away for another day until he speaks again. "I have a mission. To make her well again. Whatever it takes. I'm going to get started now. I've slept enough for the day. Care to save some water and share a shower?"

A slight giggle escapes her lips as the reverent moment is disrupted by his incongruent request. She doesn't need to answer. He already knows as the two, with their arms around each other, turn to walk to the bedroom to start their day.

The shower, a slow languid act the two share, wrapped in cocoons of water, steam and glass, strips each of the tension and obscenity of the past few days and reminds them of who they are and their feelings for each other. The ministrations of one upon the other does as much for the giver as the recipient. The connective coupling of their bodies and souls rejuvenates them anew. She washes his hair to help cleanse his thoughts and fears. He sits on the floor of the shower in front of her, she leans back against the wall with his back and shoulders against her calves, his head tilted back, to face the water, leaning back against her, his head in easy reach, she massages and strokes it, letting her hands and the hypnotic streams of water mesmerize him, disconnecting all thoughts and sensations except for these two things.

She can feel him recharging under her fingers, she can feel his self-assurance returning, the darkness chased away for now. His rejuvenation charges her purpose and together they will take on the tasks ahead of them. Alive and infused with energy, they exchange places. It is his turn to give to her a respite from the outside world. His fingers sure and strong but so tender, he massages her scalp and gives to her his full attention, cleaning her beautiful locks, just one of the so many things that he loves about her.

As they finish and step from the shower the silence is broken by her emitting a gentle whoosh of air "I could really get used to this heated floor thing. You sure know how to spoil a girl." she says handing him his towel. The silence between them that follows the declaration is almost louder than the responses swimming in his head. He opts to remain silent for now and help dry her off. He finishes by wrapping her towel around her shoulders and pulling her in for a simple chaste kiss that says so much.

He leaves her in the bathroom to complete her morning ritual as he dresses in the bedroom. Once decent, he heads to the kitchen to start the coffee. Their morning rite to perform. He gets down her specially made green "Richard Castle #1 fan." cup and his "NYPD Innocent Bystander" mug, sets them next to each other on the counter while the coffee is brewing. Using the interlude to begin to prepare some breakfast for them. He pulls some fruit from the refrigerator, slices it into a bowl for them to share. He pours the coffee for them both and prepares her's as she likes it. He doesn't even need to think about the process anymore, it's so natural. Taking the coffees, bowl of fruit, a pair of forks and napkins on a small tray, he returns to the bedroom. He places it in a convenient spot near the bathroom entrance and takes her coffee to the bathroom door, raps a knuckle once and opens it a small bit to pass it in to her waiting hand and is met with a gentle "Thank you Castle."

He makes the bed, and selects a shirt to wear, hanging it on the dressing hook. Drinking his coffee, he puts his money and phone into his pockets before heading to the bathroom to finish his morning rituals. Their actions smooth and instinctual, they don their armor for the battles ahead, with the occasional hum of approval for the fresh fruit fed to each other and a gentle sigh at the downing of another taste of coffee.

A short while later, while the two are sitting at the breakfast bar, dressed, made up, shaved and prepared for the day, they eat some cereal sitting side by side. Half sentences being exchanged, thoughts started but already finished by the other before the words are all spoken.

She switches gears to address the more pressing issues, "I've told Alexis that she can call me any time she needs. I also told her that I was going to encourage you to go to sessions yourself and maybe some joint sessions so the two of you can share and find out what the other person had to deal with like we talked about last night. I think doing that in a controlled environment is a wise move. You both will need a throttle and buffer when this stuff starts to flow between you, so you need to talk to her this morning and discuss the family sessions you mentioned last night."

"You _really_ are amazing. I have said a bunch of times that you are extraordinary but you still find ways to amaze me." he says staring into his cereal bowl.

"Hey, gotta take care of my partner. I don't want to have to break in a new one at this point, it'd be waaay too much work." she says with a teasing smile and shoulder nudge.

He smiles back at her and all the thanks she could want is caught up in those blue eyes that look at her like no one else could. Without saying a word, he gets up and prepares her a fresh coffee. It's their thing. It's a special act that connects them and no one else. There's no eavesdropping on their words, there's no voyeurism while they kiss. It's a simple act that means so much more that only they can share, no one else is privy to it, even in a crowded room.

Stirrings can be heard upstairs. Footfalls are heard before anyone is seen. Alexis, red hair mussed and unkempt, eyes half closed, wrapped in a robe she descends to join the pair. "I hate to say it but I think I could use some of that coffee dad." she says groggy with the night still gripping her tightly.

"Of course pumpkin." he says grabbing a mug from the shelf, pouring her a full measure and putting it on the counter next to Kate where Alexis is settling in.

"Good morning Alexis. How did you sleep?" Kate asks.

"I'm sorry, my brain is still up the stairs somewhere looking for my body I think." the girl groans as she takes a long deep draw of her coffee. "Yuck, I don't think I'll ever develop a taste for coffee. I don't like it but I find it expedient some mornings." she says almost to herself, then turning "Good morning to you too Kate. Sorry for my manners being AWOL."

"Think nothing of it. We all have our morning issues." Kate offers with a smile.

"Thank you and thank you for asking. I slept... ummm... I slept. I don't think I woke up much, I remember seeing the clock a few times but it wasn't too bad. I slept better than I have in a while I think. Thank you for that too. I think our talks last night helped a lot. The suggestion of leaving the door open a crack helped too. I do remember waking up once and the familiar door and hallway beyond it was immediately reassuring."

"I'm glad." Castle chimes in with a smile for his two favorite women.

"Sorry to switch subjects abruptly. Dad, I got a text from mom, she said she wants to come back out for a few days and she _actually_ apologized for leaving me so suddenly." Alexis says into her coffee cup.

"You know my feelings about that pumpkin, she's _always_ welcome in your home. I'll even arrange for the car service to be available to her at whatever hotel she's staying at." her dad says.

"Thanks Dad." now turning to Beckett, "Kate, I thought about what you said about her coping mechanism and I'm going to try to talk to her. I... I feel I want to explain to her what went on, she... I think she needs to understand it a bit more. I also thought about some of the things she said when she was here and I now think that there was a part of her trying to reach out to me for details and an emotional connection but I didn't see it at the time."

"I'm glad Alexis, that will be good for you. I think it will be good for her too. When I talked to her, it was obvious that she couldn't make a cognitive connection to what I was telling her. I explained what was going on and she panicked as one would expect a mother to but then when I told her the FBI was working the case, I could hear how it never really sank in. I got a 'Really? The FBI?' from her but it didn't sound like she was able to grasp the enormity of the situation. Let me say this before you try to apologize for her, there's no need to. No _normal_ person _should_ be able to grasp such a situation. It _is_ an enormous concept when the recipient is _not_ already in shock. Which is partly why I decided to call her to begin with."

"Exactly, now that you and I have talked and I see things in a different light, it will help me talk to her and maybe make more of that connection."

Kate pats her arm saying "Alexis, I think it's a good idea."

Alexis, now smiling simply says "Thank you."

"You're very welcome." Kate answers giving a little "toast" motion with her coffee cup.

"I just want to say this though." Alexis says "You both, and Grams too, have been so very patient, helpful and understanding, I can't thank you both enough for helping me in all the ways you have." the young girl says and takes a deep breath before continuing "I understand Dad and Grams' motivations, and until last night, I..." she pauses for a moment "I'm sorry to say I still had a niggling twinge in the back of my mind about you Kate. I don't anymore and I wanted to tell you that." she says putting her hand on Kate's arm "I value your opinions and judgments, always have and always will but I now see things in a better light."

Quickly Alexis adds "And although no one has said it, I just thought I'd say that I wasn't trying to justify my talking to my mom I just felt that it was fair that everyone knew that Blizzard Meredith would be showing up and I was going to try to explain things to her. Knowing her as we do, there's a very good chance she's going to go off half-cocked about something so just be forewarned."

"Thank you very much Alexis, I can't express how much it all means to _me_. To tell you the truth, I think I'm much better equipped to handle your mother than I had been previously so it doesn't scare me like it used to." Kate says fighting back the emotions.

"Good, I'm glad." Alexis says taking another deep drink of the coffee. "Yuck, I think I'll never like coffee. It tastes like jet fuel but luckily it works as well too."

"I'll make tea for you if you'd like sweetie, you just have to tell me." Castle offers. "You know me, always eager to please."

"Yeah, Mr _I only bought ten half-gallons of ice-cream last night_ Castle says." Kate sniggers.

"Kate, you know what's worse?" Alexis says to her in a stage whisper "He doesn't think he over did it because he decided _not_ to get the twenty gallons he could have."

"Hmmm..." Kate says drinking her coffee and giving him a wink.

"Dad. Don't worry about it. I've only started drinking coffee to help study and make it through exams. It's cheaper, safer, and legal than what some other kids do. I'm happy with this for now and it is unlikely that I'll develop a taste for it."

It suddenly occurs to Kate to ask "I'm sorry, it just dawned on me, why _Blizzard_?"

"That's easy. She arrives without much warning. No one's ever sufficiently prepared enough for her. She blows different directions moment to moment. Hits you sideways when you least expect it. No one knows how long she'll stay. Lastly, everything is chilly when she leaves and there's a week of cleanup left behind her." Alexis says laughing. "I love her but she's a _handful_."

"Alexis, as much as I find it somewhat amusing, I think it'd be smart of you to not repeat that." Castle admonishes her but with a big smile on his face. "I think if she _ever_ gets wind of that, I'll get blamed and, while I don't usually mind, I prefer to only be blamed for the things I actually do."

"You call Grams _Hurricane Martha_ so what's the difference?" Alexis asks him.

"I can call her that to her face and she thinks... okay, she knows I don't _really_ mean it and she'll laugh right back at me. Your mother would be be offended and probably hurt too." He says. "While we may giggle about it I think that one slip of the tongue would be hurtful and unpleasant."

"Oh. I see." Alexis says nodding. "I think you're right."

"Aw, don't tell him that. Even if it's true." Kate moans.

"Sorry Kate, it slipped out."

"Too late to take it back now pumpkin." He smirks at Kate.

"Oh well. That's too bad for you Kate. I'm going to go upstairs and get started. I want to make sure I'm ready to see Lanie." Alexis says slipping off the stool and making for the stairs.

"Great kid, thanks. You light the fuse and leave me holding the bomb. Nice move!" Kate laughs after her.

"I'm not sure I like these descriptions of me being bandied about." Rick says.

"Sorry Kate, that's the price you pay." the redhead calls out as she ascends the stairs.

"Did you even hear me?" he asks Kate.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" she replies with a glint in her eyes.

"Nope, not me. Must have been the wind." he almost mumbles under his breath.

"Rick, I'm going to call one of the guys from SVU to ask him for that recommendation for Alexis." Kate says standing up and heading into his office.

"Sounds good, I'll clean up here and call my lawyers by the time we're both done I'll join you in there and we can call Doctor Burke." he says as he starts to clean up after breakfast.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter/Author's Note:**_  
This chapter, and the ones after it, have been a _battle_. I'm sorry for any delays in getting them out. The characters haven't been cooperating, they have been holding out for smaller words, shorter sentences and longer paragraph breaks.

Truth is, I am having trouble ending stories and this one is taking a lot of work and effort.

The other truth is I _**suck**_ at trying to write dialog that is stilted by a dialect such as Det Smoot has so consider this an apology for that.

* * *

Closing the door behind her she stands in front of the desk as she scrolls through her contacts and hits the Call button. After only a couple of rings "Smoot! Talk ta me!" he answers.

"Murry! It's Kate Beckett from the twelfth, how ya doin' over there?"

"Beckett! Nice to hear from you again. We's doin' pretty good ovah heea. How's 'bout you?" he answers back in his laid back New Jersey manner.

"Y'know the usual Murry, too much crime, not enough time in the day to solve them all. I hear you caught the ice-cream man, congratulations!"

"Too much crime and too many bosses is the problem. Yea, we busted da guy bigtime, we caught him trying to get another kid and we caught him with photos and videos on his phone. Dat bastard's goin' away for a long time. So Kate, what can I doo for ya dis fine day?"

"Murry, remember Alexis Castle, the red-head that helped you guys take down the guy drugging and attacking women at the bar?"

"Sure I rememba her, she's a _hell_ of a fiya-cat. How's she dooin'?"

"That's why I'm calling Murry, she had a bad experience recently. I'll save you the long story but she was kidnapped and held for a couple of days. Her dad and I are trying to find her someone to talk to about it. That's why I called you, we're looking for any recommendations for a doctor for her. I figured you'd have an idea of who in the business knows how to work with victims."

"Sure Kate, anyting for dat kid. I'll tell ya, dere's two I can suggest right off da top of my head. Da foist one ta try is Doctor Isabella Stewart. She's great. She's given me permission to say that I met her in my professional capacity and saved her. If ya call 'er, when the seckatery ansaws, tell her she was reffered by 'Disney'."

"Disney?" Kate asks unsure if she got the info right.

"Yeah, dat's a code woid we use so she knows ta make a special effit for who I send her." Murry explains.

"Murry, that's great." Kate says happily.

"Kate if she ain't available, call Doctor Fred Sylvania, he's good but we ain't woiked out a code yet. Her fioist choice should be Stewart."

"Murry, I can tell you that she appreciates your doing this for her as do I." Kate says to the cop.

"Yeah yeah Beckett, no need ta tank me dat much, da kid still desoives our tanks for bustin' that jack-hole. Hey, he got four years and a bazillion hours of community soivice, days makin' him wear a GPS thing for five years afta he gets out too. She done da woild a fava bustin' him." He tells her.

"You're an ace Murry! I don't care what the other guys there have been saying about you, you're all right!" Kate says laughing.

"Ignore dem joiks! Even if most of its true, no need for dem to be repeatin' it." He laughs back.

"Thanks very much Murry, we'll call Doctor Stewart right now."

"You betcha Beckett, tell da kid we said 'ello and good luck too."

"You got it Murry, thanks!" she says as she ends the call, leans over and pulls a small note from Rick's desk and writes the names down on it. Then she starts to look up the phone numbers for both doctors on her phone. Just then Castle comes in.

"Hey there pretty lady."

"Hiya partner. I got two names for Alexis." she says reaching for the note.

"I have to ask you something." Castle says walking over to her in front of his desk and wrapping his arms around her waist interrupting her actions.

"Ask away." she says cheerily.

"Why don't you sit in my chair?"

As an abrupt blush rises over her face. She glances at the chair behind his desk and then looks down to avoid his gaze. "I um..."

"I've noticed this more than once. You'll make yourself comfortable everywhere in this house, and you _should_, I encourage it but you seem to regard that _one_ thing as special in some way. It's not, and even _if_ it was sacred, it's not for _you_." he says punctuating the point by gently pointing to her by touching her shoulder with his finger. "I also see that it's not the power thing that you use on me about sitting in _your_ chair at the precinct. Come here." he says taking her by her hands and walks backward leading her around behind the desk. "Sit." he says but it is obviously a request.

"Aw come on Rick it's no big deal." she protests as she starts to sit but he recognizes a tiny hitch in her motion. "See, I'm sitting." she says in a way that makes him know she's still uncomfortable.

"Okay then. Let's see how long you can sit there before it gets to you. I'll sit on the couch across from you." He says with a knowing smirk.

"Don't be childish!" she snaps as she begins to stand up.

Quickly he stops her. "Uh uh! Don't get up. You sit there until we're finished."

Letting out a huff, she settles back down. "_Fine!_" she says as she pulls herself more behind the desk.

"Good. Now, what was it you were going to say when I first came in here?" he asks as he sits back on the couch enjoying the change in orbits.

Obviously uncomfortable she clears her throat and tries again "I got two names from Murry in the SVU, he suggested one saying that it was someone he was very familiar with. He also gave us a code word so her office will know to make an exception for Alexis and expedite the appointment."

"That's great! When Alexis comes down we'll talk to her and see what her opinions are. She can look up their bio's online and see what she thinks of them." He says as he leans back and puts his arms across the back of the couch reveling in the slight discomfort she is feeling at sitting in his spot. "Meanwhile, what time do you have to get in?"

"I've got a little longer. I'm starting a little later today and tomorrow because I need some responses from the DA's office about the files I'd sent over. Until they get back to me, I'm at a standstill so I've probably got about an hour." she says glancing around the room from his desk.

"It looks like it still feels strange to you." he observes.

"Huh?"

"Sitting behind my desk."

"Well..." she hesitates for a long beat then lets out a bit of a sigh with a small smile "Okay, it is but _don't_ let that go to your head."

"It won't." after a beat, while still watching her face "Why does it feel so weird to you?" he asks gently.

"Um... because..." she trails off as she looks down at the desk, the closed laptop, the papers and folders, notepad with doodles and the framed pictures of him and Alexis. "Because this is where..." she groans and covers her face "I can't _believe_ I'm going to say this to you."

Smiling and enjoying how much it obviously means to her, he waits for her to continue.

After a long pause while she is still hiding her face, she takes her hands down and fixes him with a stare. "There are days I _really_ could hate you." she says smiling, then after a short pause "Because _this_ is where the magic happens."

"You don't like peeking behind the wizard's curtain I gather. Don't worry. I won't let it spoil the magic for you."

"Thanks." she says looking around only marginally more comfortably.

"You _do_ know you're an integral part of the magic, right?" he asks.

"Well, sort of but not _here_, not behind _this_ desk." she says smiling back at him.

"Pull out the writing surface on your right there."

She sees a glint in his eyes that gives her pause but she does it anyway. As she pulls out the flat slide, she sees that underneath the glass surface are some pictures of her and him including the infamous goofy-looking Ryan photo of them in the break room having eye-sex. A photo of her and Alexis and another of her with Martha. There's a photo of the entire gang including Roy and Lanie at the Olde Haunt when he'd first purchased the place.

Softly she breaths "Oh my g..." and trails off.

"Yes, I pull that out while I'm working and when I'm just sitting there. It... I... um." clearing his throat he skips that part of the conversation and dives right back into his original train of thought. "I had made sure Ryan gave me the one of us in the break room and he also gave me that one of us dancing at his wedding. The other's are just random ones I've taken over time."

She moves in closer for a look at one of them. "Is this..."

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to see that one." he chuckles.

"How the hell did you get _that_?" she asks amazed pointing at the photo and looking at him for an answer.

"I haven't heard you that surprised at one of my clever tricks in a long time! That's a nice sound. The answer is, right after we finished that case and you walked away from me. I emailed Gina and asked who the photographer was at the party. I had him go through every single photo that he took to look for it. It wasn't there. I then got the list of everyone who attended from Gina and hired a temporary worker from a local secretarial agency to call every single one of them on the list to see if they had that photo. It actually took about three months because she could only call the people during reasonable business hours, leave messages, and wait for call backs. Then people had to search their photos."

"You've had it all this time and you never told me or shown it to me?"

"I felt almost stalkerish in getting it. That one has a special meaning specifically to _me_. Also, I didn't want to hear you complain that I did that."

"Why _did_ you do it?" she asks looking back at the photo.

"Because my dear Detective Kate Beckett, that photo was snapped just as you appeared and my life changed forever. That moment, captured there, frozen in time, is the beginning of the end for 'The White Whale'."

Without even thinking about it while staring at the photo she quips "Moby looks healthy enough to me."

With a wry smile he explains "That's the thing Kate, it's deceptive. The damn fool didn't know he was done for. What you see there is the moment that the fatal blow was struck. Nothing in my life would be the same again after that moment. There was no warning that _everything_ in my life would be so fundamentally affected. It is a simple moment in time that divides the 'before' and 'after' of my life, truly _the_ watershed moment."

He looks at her and she's still staring at the photo taken that night when she went to take him in for questioning in the Tisdale murder. He can hear the wheels turning, the way she studies every detail of the photo. "Kate, the change in your life happened at a different time, that's why I never said anything about _that_ picture. I see that photo and..." his voice cracks and trails off.

She looks up at him sitting on the couch, tears welling in his eyes. The cheerful countenance, he wears through everything that goes on, has faded. He looks straight ahead into space and he fights to continue "I can remember that night vividly too. I remember preparing for that party and how truly exhausted I felt about _everything_. I had killed off Storm and I _just wanted to move on_. The only reason I was there was Gina told me that Black-Pawn would sue me for breach of contract if I didn't show up at the party. I didn't even care enough to fight it. I just went to get it over with. I got grief for not wearing a tie and not being shaved. Gina bitched about my killing off Storm a bunch of times, always the same complaints from her about it. _I could not have cared less._ All I had to do was spend a few hours signing books and women's ... well, you know... and then I could escape from that drudgery. Even signing women's chests didn't thrill me like it used to. Of course it was fun and I got a few dates from it but it was like emotional pop-corn. Zero content. Minor temporary pleasure. Zero memorable moments. I didn't even know what I was going to do when I killed off Storm, I just knew nothing was right. As a matter of fact, I was explaining that to Alexis when you came up behind me, then, _kablooey_." he makes an 'explosion' motion with his hands.

She can see him fighting with the memories and she lets him get it out.

"When I see that photo, it's... it's a... token... like the tokens... that people get at AA meetings. It... is... that is... the delineation point for me. The life I had and don't ever want to go back to and the life I have now and will give everything to keep."

She pushes the slide back in, gets up and goes to kneel on the couch next to him. She wraps her arms around him and holds him tight. She whispers to him "Know what else?"

He just shakes his head afraid to speak.

"That guy was a _freakin' jerk_. Good thing he's gone too." she teases and feels him start to laugh at the joke.

Just as the mood returns to normal Alexis comes bounding through the open door and is taken aback at the tender moment she's obviously interrupted. "Aww geeze you two. I wonder if we can get a bell on the two of you..." and then the implications of what she's saying hits her "_Oh god! I need brain bleach!_ I'll never hear a bell ring the same again. Ewwww ICK!"

"Don't worry Pumpkin, nothing was going on. Kate was just regaling me with stories about how she thought I was a ruggedly handsome guy when we first met."

"Ignore him Alexis." Kate says standing up. "He's being a child _and_ delusional. _Again._"

"That doesn't mean I don't want the brain bleach still. Lucky for me I'm already looking for a therapist. Maybe I can get a bulk rate, you know, an even dozen neuroses, one flat fee?" she jokes.

"You're hilarious there kiddo." her father says "If we throw your grandmother into the mix we could get an industrial grade rate."

"_Dad!_" Alexis says whacking him on the arm and turning to Kate "The things you have to put up with I just can't imagine you poor dear."

"Great, I get it from all sides." he says smiling.

"You deserve it!" the two woman say in unison.

"The thing that I really am amazed at is how both of you actually hit the _exact same_ spot on my arm. I'm going to have a callous there soon."

"Good! It'll match the one on your shoulders." Alexis says giving Kate a high-five. "So, let's get this party started."

"Oh great, here we go again. Walked right into that one head first." Castle says laughing. "Okay you two, enough of your favorite game, _'Let's beat up on poor Richard.'_ Time to get something useful done. I'm going to get more coffee."

Kate starts "Alexis, do you remember Detective Smoot from SVU?"

"Yeah, he was a nice guy, very funny too." Alexis says.

"Well, he gave me two names for you. He said that the first one, Stewart, is the one to try first. He said she'll be the best bet for you." She explains.

"Thank you for calling him."

"You're welcome. He was very happy to be able to help you. He told me to tell you that the guy you busted is going away for four years and then has to wear a GPS for five after he gets out."

"Wow, that's great! I'm so glad. Kim will be too."

"Anyway, here's the two names Smoot gave me." Kate says handing Alexis the note "You should look them up and read their bio's to see which one you might want to talk to."

"Sounds like a plan." Sitting down behind the desk Alexis opens her father's laptop and starts to look up the doctors as Castle returns to the office with two cups of coffee. "Here you go Kate." handing her a cup. Kate thinks about how reverent she feels about that seat and that Alexis thinks nothing of it.

"Kate? Do you have Doctor Burke's info handy? I might as well look him up too." Alexis asks.

Pulling out her phone, Kate scrolls to the appropriate contact entry and passes it to the girl.

"Thanks!" she says turning her attention back to the screen.

"I like Burke but then again, I didn't shop around and he was recommended by the department. However, like I said before, I have a lot to show for his success."

"Oh my _god!_ Dad! You're so right!" Alexis exclaims from behind the desk looking at the screen.

"About what?" He asks surprised.

"He looks like..."

"I know! Isn't it cool!" he spouts back at her enthusiastically.

Beckett rolls her eyes at the two of them and puts her phone back in her pocket as she takes a seat on the couch.

"Dad?"

"Yes dear?"

"Would you mind if I didn't go to Doctor Burke but instead went to Doctor Stewart? I mean, he's probably okay but she..."

"Stop!" He says holding up his hand to her. "_Do not ask and do not explain why_. It is _your_ choice, not mine. We go where _you_ choose."

"Are you sure dad?" Alexis asks concerned.

"Absolutely and without any reservations. This is about _you_ and _only_ you_._" he assures her.

She smiles back at him "Thanks dad. I guess you'll do anything to get that title back huh?"

Looking a bit concerned and confused he asks her "What title?"

"You know, you used to be 'the _cool-dad_'."

"_Used to be?_ What happened? When did I lose that title? I'll have you know I'm _still_ the cool-dad." he says playing along.

"Okay, I'll let you believe that." then turning to Kate "He can be so much work at times." with a wink. "I'm going to call Doctor Stewart's office now and see if there's an opening."

"When you call, you're supposed to tell them that you were referred by 'Disney' and they'll know that you were sent by Detective Smoot." Kate explains.

"I think you should ask for a single appointment, you and I will go and I can leave half way through." Castle says as he takes his coffee and heads to the couch where Kate is sitting. "When you're finished, she and you can decide how best to work this out and what future appointments you'll want to have and when you'll want to have me in on the discussions. Just so you are clear, one of the things I'm going for is so I can learn what _you_ need from _me_ to help deal with and excise the remnants of these experiences. I need to know how to help you."

"Okay, sounds like a plan." Alexis says as she starts to dial the phone.

Castle holds out his hand inviting Kate to take it and stand up. He makes a head nod towards the door. "Kate reminded me, you'll want to use Rogers again." he says as he closes the door behind him and Kate leaving her alone in the office.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Claim:***_  
I've decided to come clean. I just can't keep misleading the good people here on FFnet.  
It is true, I own the TV show Castle. No, really, it's true. I own the _entire_ show.  
I also own a mansion and a yacht.  
Now, if you don't mind pwease be vewy vewy quiet, I'm still hunting dat tweachewous dubbuh-cwossing scwewy wabbit.  
Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh

* * *

"She seems to be feeling much better." Kate observes.

"I think so." Castle says hopefully.

"While she makes her calls, I'll call Hastings" Kate says pulling out her phone. "Would you get me a coffee in my travel mug so I can get going?"

"You bet but it'll cost you." He says leaning close with a pucker on his lips.

She rolled her eyes at his childish antics but paid his fee gladly as she held her phone to her ear. "Hastings. Kate Beckett. Are you free for a couple of minutes?" she spoke into her phone.

"Good good. No, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes. I've got a friend who I think would benefit from your classes, do you have room for two college age girls?" ... "Sure, both seem to be very responsible women and surprisingly adult." ... "You're _sure_ you've got room?" ... "If one or both of them needed personal instruction, I'd be willing to come in and help you, would that be an option?" ... "That's great. You're right, I _was_ skirting the issue. Before I continue, I need your promise that these girl's identities, our conversations, and anything else about this is kept confidential. The only people other than these two girls who can discuss this with you are me and Castle himself until told otherwise." ... "I'm glad, thank you. Here's the deal, did you hear about Castle's daughter?" ... "Okay, I'll save the bulk of the story for another time. In short, she and another girl were kidnapped" ... "Yes, I really mean it, snatched from the streets of New York, tossed into a van, taken overseas and ransomed." ... "Anne? No, I'm not joking, Paris France." ... "Like I said, I'll make sure you know everything before the class. Castle's daughter, who'll use the name Lexi Rogers for now, asked me about getting some basic self defense classes and I suggested that she talk to you. The other girl we've not heard back from yet so her attendance is still up in the air." ... "I'll tell you how this came up in a minute, you'll like that part. Lexi's doing pretty good but she is still having some issues from the whole ordeal and she might need a little extra attention which is why I'm offering to help you with the classes." ... "Great! I'll tell them. How much do you charge for the classes? No, I mean when it's a one-on-one class, I know that's higher." ... "Sorry, the deal is off if you don't get paid. _No!_ I mean it. How much?" ... "Okay, I'll make sure you have a check for that in a couple of days. What about application forms, releases and such?" ... "Seriously? Hang on." Pulling the phone away from her ear, she turns to Castle "Hey Rick, your lawyers are on retainer right?"

"Yeah, why?" he answers from the kitchen with a narrowed eye-look of _'what are you thinking?'_

"If they were to put together a really simple application and release waiver form for Anne's classes, would it cost you anything?" she asks and he's getting the picture already.

"No, not at all. Tell her I'll have my lawyers contact her today to make an appointment. Even if it costs, I'll absorb the fees." he offers.

Smiling now and winking at Castle, she gets back on the phone "Anne? When do you get off shift?" ... "Three O'Clock, Good. You'll be getting a call from Castle's lawyer today when you get off. He'll take care of getting releases and forms for you." ... "I know you can't afford it. That's why Castle's giving it to you." ... "Anne? _Anne?_ What?" ... "No, I'm not kidding." Kate looks at Castle and gives him a thumbs-up sign and runs her index finger down her cheek from her eye indicating that Anne is taken by the offer.

"No Anne, I'm not promising without asking him. Here, I'll prove it." then, out loud while walking towards Castle and holding her phone in front of her "Castle, come and reassure Anne I'm not making this up."

Taking the phone "Hi Anne! How are you?" ... "Good, I'm glad to hear it. Kate tells me you're engaged, best wishes to you and your writer!" ... "Thank you. Now, to business. Yes, Kate has my approval for everything she's said." ... "Anne? No need to cry, really." ... "My lawyers are on retainer, I pay them to sit around and do nothing so this won't cost me a cent, I can assure you. They'll make sure your business is protected and all the bases are covered." ... "Like I said, Kate has the authority to speak for me." ... "Good. I'm glad. Let me turn you back over to Kate, she's got some more things to talk about with you." ... "Yes, good bye and thank you."

Handing the phone back to Kate he smiles.

"See Anne? Told you so." then with a slightly childish air "Muse's honor." she laughs "Yes, I know. I try not to tell him things like that too often though, it goes right to his ego." ... "Not at the moment, I'm on some special project so my hours are a bit later in the morning. No, I'm heading in now. I'm at ho... Um..." she clears her throat "About _that_. We are making an effort to keep this quiet so please don't talk about it. I'm at Castle's place." she says suddenly pulling the phone from her ear. "Hastings! _Cut that out!_" she says blushing "Yes! No! I'm _not_ telling you! If you asked that it means you have money riding on it too and I'm _not_ helping." ... "_FINE!_ You'll just ask Doctor Parish anyway." Kate sighs heavily and continues "When I got suspended." she says rolling her eyes. "I don't want to hear this Anne. Really, do you want people betting on _your_ personal life?" ... "I'm obviously not going to win this argument." she says with another heavy sigh.

"_**Anyway Officer Hastings**_..." she says trying to sound put-out in an attempt to regain control of the conversation "Remember you told me that you were looking for a new place to hold your classes?" ... "Did you find one yet?" ... "I didn't think so, it's hard to find a place for what you do." ... "I know, I don't want you to have to stop either, that's why I'm asking. How would you like a nice place closer to downtown that doesn't smell of testosterone and sweat?" ... "No, it's larger than a phone booth too. Here's the deal, do you know the actress Martha Rogers?" ... "Yeah! That's her! She has an acting school that is empty during nights and parts of the weekend." ... "Yes, I know her too." ... "No, this was a package deal. She's Castle's mother." ... "Oh she'll be delighted to hear that!" Kate says then pulling the phone away from her ear partially she says out loud "Hey Rick, Anne thinks Martha's too young to have a son as old as you!" and smiles when he starts to protest but he already knows to keep it to himself.

"So, I asked Martha at dinner last night" ... "I know, it's still a little weird for me too." ... "So, at dinner last night, I asked her about her school and she said for you to contact her to discuss using the school during off hours. The entire school is almost all just big empty rooms. There's props and such but they usually move but you and Martha can discuss it." ... "Ah, the cost. That might be a problem." she says with a slight chuckle "Martha has already said that she'd give you one month of usage for each of the two girls and Castle said he'd triple it. So, that right there gives you eight months of free use." ... "I know, I just added the two and six months without his permission." ... "I don't know how the scheduling or anything else will work, you'll have to work that out with Martha." ... "Yes, I'll text you her contact information and you can give her a call. She's already told me to have you call her." ... "_Please_ don't mention Christmas to Castle, he's insufferable about that holiday but yes, I can see how you'd say that." she says smiling.

"I'm glad Anne. I know Al... Lexi will be very happy to hear this too." ... "Okay, you get back to work, I've got to get going too. You can call me if there's any questions about any of this of course. I'll also send you Castle's contact information too." ... "Right." ... "You're very welcome. I can speak for Rick too, he appreciates you working with his daughter." ... "I know you can keep a secret but I'll tell him for you anyway." ... "**No**! I don't want to know how much you won in the pool. _Sheesh!_" ... "Thanks, talk to you later. Good-bye." as she hangs up.

"I have never heard of so many people betting on a relationship as ours." she says shaking her head as she crosses the room putting her phone away. "I'm going to get my stuff together so I can get into work. The DA's office should be able to answer my questions by now."

"I guess all these wagers represent another way for the universe to tell us we took too long." he laughs "Here's your coffee." putting it on the breakfast bar as he opens the newspaper. "Alexis should be done any time now."

"If I don't see her before I leave, you can tell her that she's in the class. Anne agreed before I let her know all the other benefits." Kate calls out from the bedroom.

"That's great! I guess Anne's another case of the universe working things out for the better. Here she was doing things that were not good for a cop to be caught doing, she straightens out her attitude and things fall into place for her." he says while skimming the paper.

Alexis appears from the office at the same time Kate comes out of the bedroom with her shoes and coat.

"Hey Alexis. I talked to Anne Hastings and she said you're in the class." Kate says.

"That's great! Thank you."

"You're welcome, she said Sarah's in too if she wants."

"I'll be giving her a call a bit later on, I'll tell her about it then." Alexis says heading into the kitchen.

"Great!"

"So dear daughter of mine, how'd it go?" Castle asks turning his attention to her.

"Seems okay. I have to meet Lanie at noon for a couple of hours and then we have an appointment with Doctor Stewart at three. Does that work for you?"

"Works for me. I'll find space in my oh-so busy schedule." Castle says grinning foolishly.

"Good. I told her what you said, she'll meet with us both and decide on the best course of action after that." Alexis says.

"So you talked to the doctor herself, this early?" he asks her a bit surprised.

"She said that she has early hours. She starts at seven in the morning"

"Well, that's a work ethic." he smiles.

"She took my call after I said I was referred by Disney and she said that Detective Smoot had sent her a message saying someone special would be calling." Alexis says a bit humbled.

"I think we'll have to send a thank you to Smoot too." He says as a thought out loud.

"Well Castle, now you have things to do." Kate says. "I'm going to head into work and you're going to have your lawyers contact Doctor Stewart's office right?"

"Yes, that's the next thing on my list. I'll also have them arrange to talk to Hastings. Oh, wait, can't do that one until you send me her contact info."

"Right, will do that as soon as I get into a cab." Kate says.

"Okay, looks like we've got a plan in place." he says. "Alexis, for the moment, until you decide otherwise, Anne will know you as Lexi Rogers."

"That's fine for now. I'm not much on that nickname." she says getting some juice from the 'fridge.

"Sorry Alexis, that's my fault, I did it on the fly while talking to Anne." Kate apologizes while she continues getting ready to leave.

"Oh, that's okay Kate, I know and understand. It's a good temporary solution to hide my true identity." the girl says smiling. "At least you didn't choose Rumpelstiltskin or something foolish like _someone else we know_ might have chosen." she says nodding at her dad.

"Darn! Wish I'd thought of that twenty years ago!" he says smirking back at her.

"Truth is Kate, for some reason, people in my circles find the six letter name that I have too difficult to deal with so they shorten it. I've gotten accustomed to it. I really don't understand it but that's for another day. I've been called everything since I started college. Lexi, Lexus, Alex, Lex, Al, Aly, most of them are just foolish it seems, people trying to shortcut the shortcut."

"Thanks Alexis. I figured you can work it out with her later. Would you mind telling Martha that Anne will be calling her this afternoon about the use of the school?" Kate asks.

"No, not at all. As a matter of fact, she said she has to go in for a couple of hours to handle some business and I was thinking that I might go with her to get some air." Alexis says. "A short time out again might be good for me."

"That's great! I'm glad. Enjoy it. Remember to take your time. Speaking of going out, when's your mother showing up?"

"Another few days. I've asked her to move her visit out a bit so that I can be ready to go outside with her. Like we discussed, I want to be able to talk with her in a comfortable setting and I'm not quite ready to spend too much time outdoors right now."

"Was she okay with that?" Castle asks.

"She was. I explained it to her and she took it well, I think she actually understands a little." the girl explains.

Castle joins in "Good. Don't let her push you too hard or take you too far out of your comfort zone. You need to be able to retreat to safety whenever you want. If it helps, take the car service and use one of the bigger SUVs with the window curtains if you want." he offers.

"Good idea!" Kate adds.

"We'll see how I do today with Grams. When you took me out last night" she says to Kate "and we went into the bakery I could feel the difference and it felt better so I know I can retreat to some places already." Alexis says.

"Okay, good luck. I've got to get going." Kate says donning her coat and getting her bag.

"Thanks again for everything Kate." Alexis says going and giving her a hug.

"You're very welcome, I'm glad to be able to help." She says hugging her back. "And thank you for our conversation last night." she says with a wink.

"I'll walk you out." Castle says approaching them at the door.

"'bye Kate." Alexis says heading back into the kitchen.

As they walk to the elevator he wraps his arm through hers. "Thank you for everything you've done for Alexis."

"No need to thank me." she says gently.

"Yes there is. As you said to Hastings, you got stuck with a package deal. I know you weren't ready for me, much less, a ready-made family." he continues as he presses the elevator call button.

Kate turns quickly realizing he might have misunderstood her. "Rick, I was _not_ complaining to her, not one bit. I..." there's a long pause while she thinks of what she wants to say and how to express it. "How about we table this part of the discussion for another time. Let me just say this, I don't think I've ever been so happy. I'm thrilled to help her and it gives _me_ something in return. And we'll leave it at that if you don't mind."

Smiling now "Okay, for now you've got a deal." he gives her a kiss as the elevator doors open. "Call if you're bored." he says as she steps in.

"I will. I should be back on normal duty soon." she says giving him a warm smile and a wink as the doors close.

* * *

_***Author's Note:**_  
What? Did you really think I was _serious_?  
I just had to do it to rail against the idea of putting a disclaimer on each and every chapter. :)


	13. Chapter 13

"I have to say dad that I've not seen you smile that much in a while." Alexis says as her father walks in and closes the door behind him.

"Something wrong with that Pumpkin?" he asks.

"No, it's just nice to see it. As we already know, she's good for you."

"We?"

"Yeah, just about anyone who's ever met the two of you." she says smiling.

"I think so too." he says not quite under his breath. "So you're going off with Lanie today. Do you need a ride or anything?" he asks pouring himself another cup of coffee, intentionally trying not to be too pushy with her.

"I'm not sure." she answers, hesitates then continues "When Kate and I went out last night it felt funny, I felt exposed but it seemed like it wasn't going to overwhelm me. I guess I could go alone."

Castle sits down at the newspaper again and takes a swig of his coffee and ponders for a moment. "Tell you what, if _you_ don't mind, I'd _like_ to give you a ride there. I know you can get around on your own and all but I'd like to do it."

"Um... Okay I guess. Why?"

"First off, because I don't get to spend enough time with my favorite girl." he says smiling but not turning around. "Secondly, I think it would be smart for you to have a place to retreat to if the walls start to close in on you."

"I guess those are good reasons." she agrees.

"There's another, I'd like to be a bit more protective of you than you'd normally allow me to be, at least for a little while. I just want to be there if you need me during the travel to the morgue to meet Lanie." He takes a deep fortifying breath while staring at the newspaper but not seeing it "Point blank Alexis. I don't want to let you out of my sight. I know I'm supposed to be the big strong dad but..." his voice cracks a little and his throat tightens "but I almost lost you and I just want to know you're okay for a little while longer. I'm trying to not smother you or anything, I just... want to make sure."

For the first time she sees some of the impact her kidnapping has had on him. She sees some of the veneer cracking and the person who loves her coming out instead of the strong father with all the answers trying to protect and nurture her.

"Well... If you're going to go all soft and gooey on me, you might have to buy me lunch at Remy's as compensation." she says trying to lighten his mood.

"How can I refuse? Of course I'll buy you lunch." he laughs.

"I'm going to go up to my room and change to go out." she informs him.

"Do you still have on your to do list calling the Dean of students?" he asks while continuing to skim the paper.

"Yes, I'm actually going to do that when I get upstairs, I want to have my class schedule in front of me. I'm going to see if I can catch up on some of the work from here for another couple of days."

"That's my girl."

"I'll be back in a little while and you can give me a ride to my dorm for a minute to grab a few things and then over to meet Lanie." she says coming over and giving him a hug and peck on the cheek before heading up the stairs.

"Good, I'll finish this cup of coffee and get ready to go. Meanwhile I have my own phone calls to make." he says grabbing his coffee and heading to his office and pulling out his phone.

Closing the door most of the way then sitting down at his desk, he smiles at remembering Kate's reaction to sitting here. He puts his phone into the smartstation dock, scrolls through the contacts and calls his lawyers while going about collecting a couple of things that he may want to do later.

"Richard! Nice of you to call, how have things been?_"_ the voice booms from the box.

"Dewey, been doing okay. I've got to run out in a few minutes but there's some things I need to talk to you about." he says while moving about the room.

"Anything you want Rick, it's your nickel." the lawyer jokes.

"Did you hear about the kidnapping?" Castle asks bluntly.

"No, what'd I miss? Wait a second, let me get my secretary on the line to take down notes on this. Is that alright with you?" he asks.

"Good idea Dewey" he says then he hears the line click and a woman's voice. "I'm here gentlemen. Please continue." she says.

"First off, I, Richard Castle approve of Dewey Cheatum recording this phone conversation." Castle says.

_"_Thank you Mr Castle." the lawyer acknowledges.

Steeling himself for revisiting the story, he explains "Okay Dewey, this is the very short version, Alexis and another girl were kidnapped off the street in New York and held hostage in Paris France then rescued by InterPol and the French Police."

There's a sudden silence from the other end of the phone prompting Castle to turn around and walk back to his desk "Dewey? You still there?"

"Richard Castle, if this your idea of a joke, it is _not at all_ funny." the voice says seriously.

"I wish it were Dewey. I truly wish it were. You can take me out to lunch one day and we can discuss it. Meanwhile, you can contact the American Embassy or State Department, one of those groups, to get the official press release on the event."

"Oh my god! Rick, I'm so sorry, how is she?" The lawyer asks concerned.

"Dewey, this girl's amazing. She's holding up extremely well thank you for asking. We're going to see a therapist today, that's one of the reasons I called. Her name is Doctor Isabella Stewart, if you need more info, let me know but the usual precautions need to be taken with her."

_"_We'll take care of it for you and Alexis._" _he says.

"Thanks Dewey. I've also got another task for you. I'll send you the woman's contact information within the hour. Her name is Anne Hastings, she's a patrol officer in the twelfth precinct with Kate. Separately from the police department, she gives classes in self-defense aimed specifically at young women. Alexis is going to get in on the course which is how I found out about this. She has _no_ releases or application forms or anything..."

"Holy crap Richard! She's begging for trouble!" The lawyer exclaims.

"I know, that's why I'm bringing this up, I want you folks to talk to her and set her up. She needs all the usual protections and you might as well discuss insurance protections too. She'll be getting off duty after three today, I'd like it if you'd touch base with her to start the ball rolling. Also, there's a _very_ good chance that she's going to use my mother's acting school during off hours to hold these classes. So, that's going to need to be considered."

"Got it Richard. What else can we do for you?"

"Right now Dewey, that's enough. Like I said I'll get you Hasting's contact info shortly. If there's any questions, you can also ask Kate if you can't reach me."

"Okay, got it. I'll get things started here. Quick recap. We'll have the contact info for that officer before noon from you and we'll be in touch with her after three PM when she gets off of work we're going to put together standard release and waiver forms for her classes. We'll contact the embassy to get the official press release on the... I can't believe I'm saying this... On Alexis' kidnapping. We're going to check out a therapist for you and make sure that a non-disclosure agreement is in place and your name is protected. I think that's all the action items on my list, did I miss anything?"

"Sounds like you've got it all down." Castle says now sitting down at his desk again.

"Rickey, please tell Alexis we all wish her well and we're all relieved to hear that she is going to be okay. If you could also express our concern with Martha too."

"Dewey you're a prince. Thank you, I'll tell them both."

"Thanks Rick, and let us know if there's anything we can do to help her beyond this." the lawyer says sounding personally concerned for her well-being.

"You've got it. I have to get going, I'm driving to to meet someone. Call me if there's any questions at all okay?"

"You bet Rick."

"Crap, hey Dewey, I don't know if I said it, the appointment for the doctor is this afternoon. Let me know if that's a problem okay?"

"No problem, we'll handle it. You take care of that little girl and we'll talk later."

"Okay, thanks again Dewey. Good bye." Castle says as he hangs up the phone. Taking his phone off the cradle and standing with his small briefcase, he heads out of his office to the living room as Alexis comes down the stairs. He notices just by the cadence of her footfalls that things are still not normal for her.

"Hey Pumpkin, I talked to the lawyers and they're going to talk to Doctor Stewart's office before we get there."

"Good. Do you think it'd be bad for me to let the doctor know what my real name is?" she asks not looking up.

"Good question. I suspect that it won't be a security risk once the lawyers have talked to them. I also think that it's up to you." her dad explains "If you want to, then you can, if you'd rather be Lexi Rogers, woman of mystery, you're welcome to. Of course once I walk in and say hello, the odds are she'll know who I am and therefore who you are."

"Hmm... Didn't think that out before I asked it. I guess that's kind of obvious."

"With that said, if you'd rather me _not_ be part of it, I can stay out of it." he says "Remember, this is all about you."

"Okay. Thanks. No, I'd rather do this with you." Alexis says as she's putting her shoes on. "Kate and I discussed this and I think you and I need to share in a controlled environment."

Castle dons his coat, throws his small briefcase strap onto his shoulder and grabs his keys.

"**Dad!**"

"What?" He turns startled.

"Where the heck did you get that? Is that one of those _man bags_?" she asks embarrassed.

"No it _isn't_. It's just a simple briefcase but the carry strap will stay in the car. Is that okay with you?" he says acting like he's modeling it.

"I suppose. As long as I don't run into anyone I know." she concedes.

"There, that's..."

"Or may _ever_ know come to think of it." she interrupts giving him a stern look.

"I promise, no one will know we're together. Does that make you happy?" he says teasing her back.

"I hope so." she concedes as they turn to leave.

He turns the knob and holds the door open for his daughter. As she passes, he puts his hand on the small of her back and can feel a slight twinge in her as she passes over the threshold but he doesn't say anything.

They wait in front of the elevator making small talk. He makes mental notes about things he notices about her that he wants to bring to her attention later when working with the therapist.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**  
Before everyone tells me that HIPA protects patient information, let me describe to you what someone (of status) said to me about his seeing a shrink "HIPA tells doctor's that 'somewhere, there's a guy of indeterminate size with a stick of indeterminate size who may or may not come and whack you, either easy or hard, depending on his mood if you disclose the wrong thing.' and a lawyer with an NDA (Non-disclosure agreement) is a very large man, like a sultan would have in an old movie with a huge sword that is razor sharp already out and raised over his head telling you that if you say *_anything_* you'll get hurt _very _badly." Given a choice, the second is a much better deterrent than the first.


	14. Chapter 14

As the doors open, Alexis steps aside and gives him a big royal wave for him to enter the elevator first and as soon as he steps into it she says "Age before beauty."

"Oh, it's going to be like that huh? Well, we'll see little girl, when we get home tonight, we may have to have that laser tag game to remind you of what's what." he laughs.

"Sure, if you want. You just have to remember that I'm going to have to stop letting you win soon. I think I'm old enough for you to handle that." she smirks pressing the button to the garage.

"I'm going to be the adult here and ignore that childish remark." he says lifting his chin in a defiant stance "Do you want to drive?" he offers holding the keys out to her.

"That might be good. How come you didn't offer to take the Ferrari?" she quips taking the keys from his fingers.

"Really want to know?" he asks looking at her seriously.

"You have a reason? Yeah, I'd like to hear it." she says a bit surprised that he'd have thought this out.

"_If_ you're driving that car and something happens and it gets away from either of us, it's too fast and too powerful to stop quickly. The SUV is safer." he answers matter-of-factly.

"Oh." she answers in a small voice. "I suppose you're right." she says considering the point as the doors open into the cavernous parking garage. As they step out of the elevator, he keeps a careful watch on her for any indications of trouble now that she's out of her home.

"I heard you say to Kate that you guys went to a bakery last night. Did you get one of those blueberry muffins?" he asks as they continue to the car down the sloping ramp.

Alexis, still alert, eyes darting quickly around told him about their little side trip "No, I got one of those cranberry things and Kate..."

_***BANG* **_Someone slammed a car door loudly and was yelling. Obviously a small domestic squabble but the sounds came from everywhere as they echoed around the concrete structure. When he looked back from the sound, Castle saw that Alexis was on her knees with her mouth wide open as if screaming but with no sounds coming out, her eyes were as big as saucers, terror shone plainly in her face. Her knuckles white. Her fists balled and pressed to her ears. Quickly, without another thought, he reached down and grabbed the girl, twisting her body so her face was in his neck. He ran to the elevator and hit the button. Luckily it was still there waiting. As the doors opened, he rushed in with his daughter in his arms, her grip around his neck almost cutting off his air supply. He stuck his foot out and hit the "L" button for the lobby. The girl's body shaking uncontrollably in his grip. As the doors open, he almost falls out putting her down to sit on the rug where she can see movement and light.

"_**Alexis!**_ _Look at me!_" he shouts at her to get her attention. "_**Eduardo!**__ Could you please take us up to my loft quickly? I need to get her inside._" he calls out without even looking while he picks her up again. He knows the doorman has seen them.

"Of course Mister Castle!" he calls out as he pulls out the override key on a chain from his pocket and opens the elevator door for them. He turns the override key and hits the button to take them directly to the top floor with no stops.

"_**Dad! Dad!**__ Ohmigod! What just happened?"_ his baby cries out.

"It's okay Pumpkin, I'm right here." he says "I'm right here, I've got you. You're alright." as they follow Eduardo to the front door of the loft and he uses his master key to let them in.

"Mister Castle, anything else I can do for you?" he asks, unsure of exactly what he can do for them.

"No thank you Eduardo, I'll take it from here." he says putting her down on the couch. He kneels down in front of her, and grabs the blanket to wrap around her. Taking her face in both of his hands and putting his right in front of her's he tries to talk her down. "I'm right here Alexis, everything's alright. You're in your home, you're safe." and he watches as the terror in her face begins to subside slightly and she starts to cry again. His heart breaks at the pain his child is experiencing. Any other time he'd be a weeping lump on the floor but his baby needs him again. He can worry about himself later. He pulls her tightly into a strong hug, tightening the blanket's cocooning around here. Her shaking is evening out and her breathing is becoming more deep and less frantic. "Dad? What happened?" she ask through sobs and tears.

"A loud noise surprised you. You're okay now." he tells her without letting go.

"I... I'm so scared! I remember being in the elevator and you said something about a muffin. Am I always going to be like this?" she asks like a child scared of the dark.

"No Sweetie, no. You're going to be alright, I promise. You're home and you're safe." he says trying to reassure her. "Just breath deep and try to calm down. You'll feel better in a few minutes." as he tightens the embrace.

After a few moments of silence while they both work on collecting themselves she mumbles into his shoulder "I guess you're smarter than we give you credit for."

Surprised and confused at her meaning he has to ask "What do you mean?"

"That stupid _man bag_ you've got, it worked out, you had both hands free." she says with a touch of humor.

He gives her another hug to reassure her and then sits back on his knees smiling at her. "I suspect that this is another way of telling me you're feeling a little better?"

"A little. I'm beginning to feel pretty embarrassed so that must mean something. Could I have a glass of water?" she asks timidly, obviously not wanting to move from her spot.

"Of course. You stay here and I'll go get it." he says standing and heading for the kitchen. He makes a point of being noisy so that she knows where he is the whole time so she knows he's close.

"Here you go sweetheart." he says handing it to her.

Her hand is still shaking as she takes the glass from him but he keeps his hands near the glass to help her if she needs it.

"Thanks dad." as she hands it back to him after a long draw from it.

"You're welcome." he says putting it on the coffee table and sitting down on the table in front of Alexis holding her knees.

"I think I just _one-upped_ Kate." she says softly out loud but to herself.

"What do you mean?"

"Huh? Oh." she breaks from her thoughts "When we went out last night she shared some of her experiences. I think I just did something she's not done, turned into a broken doll at a loud noise." she says putting her face into her hands.

"Sorry Pumpkin, you still lose." he says softly but clearly.

She looks up at him suddenly. Her blue eyes wide with curiosity and innocence. Her face streaked from crying and the stress. "How? What do you mean?"

"I will leave it for Kate to disclose all the details but when we were working on the sniper case, she got it a lot worse than you did and a lot worse than you or I could imagine. Remember, she's a trained homicide detective with years of experience under her belt, she's accustomed to harnessing and quashing her emotions suddenly and keeping them there." he says waiting for Alexis to process the statement.

"And she had a bad experience?"

"She went into a full-on panic, a _few_ times. One time when a cruiser bleeped the siren, she dropped to the sidewalk in surprise. So you see Pumpkin, you've got nothing on her." he finishes giving her knees a squeeze.

"Oh." she says thoughtfully. "What helped her?"

"Let's ask her. I don't want to speak for her." He says as he pulls his phone out and hits the speed dial and then speaker button.

"Beckett." comes the voice from the phone.

"Hey there, I've got Alexis here with me, do you have a minute you can talk privately?" he says.

"Sure, give me a second." she says and they can hear her moving around in the background. "Okay, I'm in a stairwell alone, what's going on?"

"Alexis ..." he starts.

"Hi Kate." she says to let Kate know she's in the conversation.

"Hi Alexis. How are you feeling?" Kate asks obviously concerned.

"That's why we're calling you Kate. I..." the girl pauses and looks at her father for help, obviously unsure of how to proceed.

He finishes for her "Kate, we just had a small setback."

As he says 'small setback' Alexis gives him one of those looks of 'gee dad, talk about understatement' but she doesn't say anything.

Continuing despite the look from Alexis he explains "We were going to the car in the garage and someone slammed a car door and she had a bad reaction to it. We're back in the loft and she's calmed down. I told her you had a bad experience, minus the details of course, and she asked how you cope with it. I thought you might be able to offer a little advice. We don't want you to dive all the way in of course."

"I understand. Boy-oh-boy do I understand." she says with a slight huff in her voice. "Alexis, first thing to remember is that you're not doing something wrong or stupid or strange. Your body and mind are trying to help keep you alive. Now like I said before, I'm not a doctor, I can only tell you what I've learned about _my_ experiences. In my case, it wasn't just that I was embarrassed to turn into a puddle, I was also trying to shoulder responsibilities as well as an ego. _Crap!_ I should have had you cover your father's ears for that one."

"Sorry Kate, that horse has left the barn." he says.

"Don't worry Kate, we'll keep him in line." Alexis joins in.

From the phone Kate continues "I know Alexis, we'll have to work together on him. Anyway, what happened to me was purely PTSD and my shrink let me in to talk about it right away, he explained lots of things about it and that the only fix for it is time and work, I mean understanding, not job work. In my instance, I was able to bury it long enough to work and solve the case we were on and then deal with it afterwards. And deal with it was what I had to do after that case. Just for clarification, I'm not over it. I'm just managing it much better and it doesn't happen to me as often or as easily." then after a short pause "Does that help explain it?"

"Yes it does Kate." Alexis answers. "I feel so stupid but I can see what you're talking about."

"I know the feeling." Kate says "One of the things that helps me manage it, as well as when I have doubts and questions about it, is my friends. I have a support system. It took me a while to learn that it was there and to be willing to use it. I have Kevin, Javi, Lanie and my loony partner there to help me when I need it and in turn, they know they can depend on me for support if they need it. The problem I had and still have is accepting help from someone"

"Now _there's_ and understatement." Castle chimes in quietly but intending to be heard.

"_Daaad!"_ Alexis chides.

"Watch it Castle. I may have to tell her about the time you spilled your coffee in my car." Kate says laughing.

"Okay, you two win." he says and then makes a zipping motion across his mouth.

"He's zipped it Kate. Please finish. You said you had trouble accepting help?" Alexis prompts her to continue.

Kate, with a bit of a lighter tone in her voice from the exchange continues "Not past tense, it's current, _have_ trouble accepting help. To be willing to _not_ be the strongest in the group is a big hurdle for me to overcome. It takes trust in your friends. You know the saying; If you can't run, you crawl. If you can't crawl- you find someone to carry you."

Laughing warmly Alexis smiles at her dad "Good job Kate, you snuck in a quote from what's-his-face."

"Thanks Alexis. The amazing part is how true that quote is. I have another one of his I keep in the pocket of my badge holder. Want to hear it?" Kate asks as she rummages for it.

"Sure." She says looking at her dad with a smile.

"I found this after I got shot and decided it was a good thing to keep reminding myself of, especially at moments like this." Kate says as they can hear her unfolding it. "It says" clearing her throat "Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."

"Wow." Alexis says pensively.

"Yeah, wow." Castle chimes in. "That guy sure knows how to write."

"See Alexis, we all run into troubles, that's part of life, it's how we deal with them that shows us what we're made of. You already know you're of sturdy stock, just by what you told me about when you and Sarah were being held. So I'm _sure_ that you can handle this. I said it before and I still think it, you're amazing. The frustrating part is that you have to take it one step at a time."

"Oh this is going to be a long process I think." The young girl says.

"That's alright Alexis, you have friends and family that love you. You're already on the road to recovery. I think that once you get a better look at what's in front of you you'll realize that it's not going to be as long as you think." Kate offers.

"Don't worry!" her father says "You'll be right as rain before you even reach the age for dating."

Simultaneously both women chide him "_Dad!_" - "_Castle!_"

"Sorry, it slipped out." he smiles at his daughter.

"Kate, again, thanks for your help." Alexis says.

"I'm honored to be able to help you Alexis. My door... um... phone? is always open for you." Kate answers.

"Thanks Kate." she says looking at her father to close the conversation.

"Thanks for taking time to talk to us Beckett. We should let you get back to work."

"Okay Castle. Anytime Alexis. Yeah, I want to finish this job. The end is in sight. I just have to find one more box which is easier said than done."

"Talk to you later Kate." he says as he hangs up the phone. "So there Pumpkin. Feel better?"

"Yes I do. Thank you." she smiles meekly at him, still embarrassed at what happened.


	15. Chapter 15

"What would you like to do now?"

"To tell you the truth dad, I think I'd like to try again."

"Are you _sure_ you want to try again? You can take another day or two if you want." he asks trying to ease any self-inflicted pressure.

"Let me see how I doing." she says taking the blanket off and standing up she tests her legs to see how she's feeling. "I'm still a bit on the shaky side which I think is the adrenalin." she steps from the couch and walks around the room a little "Yeah dad, I think I'd like to try again. Today if possible. If we could do it without the garage I think it would be better."

"Okay, we can try again but not for a little while."

"Oh I agree."

"Which means the visit to the dorm will have to wait. I want you to walk around for a while and make sure you're back to normal." he says using his _dad_ tone. "First thing I'll do is bring the car up and park it out front. Do you already feel stable enough for me to go out for a few minutes or do you want me to ask Eduardo to do it?"

She ponders for a moment then decides "How about this. You go out but you have to be back in ten minutes no matter what. That way, if I start to panic I know when you'll be back and I just have to hold on."

"You're on! If you make it without any problems, then it'll be ice-cream for dinner."

"I'm going to walk around a little bit and I'll get some of my laundry ready to be done, that will burn up some energy and adrenalin. You take care of the car. I've also got to call Grams, I think I'm going to skip going out with her today. I'll go see Lanie for however long I can and then we can go to the shrink."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll go downstairs now." he says checking his watch "I'll make sure the car is out front for when you're ready."

"Dad? Would the car service be better?"

"Alexis, like everything else, it's your choice. I figured that while you're in with Lanie I'll probably sit in the car and work on some notes that I have. It seems foolish to waste the car service on it."

"Ah, good idea. I'm sold. I'm going to get a little juice and get started on my tasks." she says walking to the kitchen and putting her coat on one of the stools.

"Okay, my ten minutes starts now, I'll go move the car." he says heading to the door.

"Thanks for taking care of me dad." she calls out to him.

"Always Pumpkin, always." he says with a smile as he goes out the door.

He stands at the elevator, tapping his foot waiting. He's checked his watch three times before the doors finally open. He presses the button for the lobby five times before the doors start to close. "I think this is going to be one of the longest ten minutes I've ever experienced." he thinks to himself. He watches the numbers change as the elevator descends. At each number he's willing it to change to the following one and almost holding his breath until it does. He's convinced that someone has been messing with the elevator controls, it must be running at half the speed it normally does. Finally the doors open to the lobby and he steps out.

Eduardo sees him right away and hurries over to meet him. "Mister Castle, is Miss Alexis alright? Do you need anything?" he asks worried, his usual stoic veneer forgotten for the well-being of the young woman.

The grateful father meets him half way across the lobby with an extended hand "Thank you Eduardo, thank you very much. Yes, she's going to be alright. It seems she had a panic attack but she's doing better now. I'm sorry if we scared you."

"Think nothing of it Mister Castle, I was more worried about her. I'm glad she's doing better." the doorman responds with a big smile.

"Thanks for everything." Castle says patting the man on the back as they walk back to Eduardo's usual station. "Eduardo, I'm going to bring my SUV out and park out front somewhere. Alexis and I are going to go out and I want to avoid the garage again."

"There's going to be a space right out front that will open up in about fifteen minutes, is that soon enough for you?" the doorman asks.

"Yes, that's fine. The only thing is we don't know exactly when we'll be leaving, it might be as much as an hour or two, I just want to make sure that Alexis doesn't have far to go in the open."

"Leave me the keys Mister Castle and I'll take care of it. If you'd like, I can have it parked next to the alley door so she can walk out the side door and right into it."

"Thank you Eduardo." He says handing him the keys. "I think out front will be fine, she walked around last night with Detective Beckett and she said she didn't have any problems doing it so I think just outside within eye-shot of the front door is going to be fine."

"It will be ready for you and Miss Alexis when you come down. If you let me know when you are ready, I'll override the elevator again and bring it right up for her and take you down here in case she needs to go back up again."

"You're a wonderful man Eduardo. I'll do that." Castle says.

"I'm a father too Mister Castle. I understand." the doorman says warmly.

"Thank you Eduardo, thank you so very much. I've got to get back to Alexis, I promised her I would be back inside the loft within ten minutes." Castle says shaking his hand again.

"One moment Mister Castle" he says "Jorge!" he calls to a worker across the lobby.

"Yes Mister Eduardo?" the worker responds walking over to where the two are standing.

"Please take Mister Castle up in the elevator on override to the top floor." the doorman instructs.

"Eduardo, that's not needed." Castle says.

"Please Mister Castle, there's some activity on the third floor that my slow you down. Let Jorge bring you up."

"If you insist Eduardo, I'll trust your judgment. Thank you again." Castle says turning to find Jorge standing at the open elevator.

As he gets into the elevator he thanks the young man who turns the key as the doors close. During the ride up he talks to Castle "How is Miss Alexis doing sir?"

"Thank you for asking, she's doing much better. Once we got her back into her home she calmed down pretty quickly."

"That's good, we're all glad." Jorge says as the elevator arrives at the top floor and the doors open "Please tell her we hope she's feeling better."

"I will Jorge, thank you." he says as he hurries towards his front door.

"Alexis? I'm back!" he says hurrying through the front door. "Alexis?"

"I'm here dad!" she calls out from up the stairs.

"You okay?" he asks slowing down as he walks to the base of the stairway.

"I'm doing a lot better thanks." she says as she comes down the stairs with a handful of laundry. "I felt very alone when you left, every creak and moan in the building had me a little jumpy but I kept reminding myself that everything was okay and I kept myself busy so I couldn't sit and dwell on it."

"That's wonderful." he says relieved. She can see his shoulders soften and relax. "Eduardo and Jorge wished you well. I just talked to Eduardo and he's going to have the SUV outside the door when you decide you want to go."

A tiny bit of embarrassment crosses her face "Did Eduardo see what happened this?" she asks sheepishly.

"Yes, he put the elevator on override so that I could bring you right here and then he opened the loft door for us." he explains calmly. "My first stop once I got you into the elevator was the lobby since I couldn't reach my key to take the elevator all the way up."

"Oh." she says blushing.

"Alexis, don't you dare be embarrassed by that. The only person who saw was Eduardo and he's a father, he understands. He was ready to take us up here instantly when he saw you in distress." he says.

"I think I might have to do something for them to thank them." Alexis says quietly.

"You don't _have_ to do anything to thank them, they're very glad you're okay. However, if you _want_ to do something you're welcome to."

Smiling now she says "I see your point. Yes, I _want_ to do something for them. I'll just have to think of something suitable."

"Whenever you want and whatever you want, you know that." He tells her then changing the conversation thread he smiles and asks "So, what's with the pile of clothes? You can't have worn these all since you got home."

"Daad! You're such a _guy_! Some of these are clothes I've haven't worn since last fall. I want to wash them to wear again." she tells him as she passes by him to take them to the laundry.

"Weren't they clean before you put them away?" he asks obviously unclear on the concept.

"_Daaad!_" she groans and rolls her eyes as she walks away from him.

"I guess the good news is you don't have your mother's penchant for wear and discard." he says smiling knowing full well, he'd put up with it if she did. "I'm going to sit in the living room for a little while and finish my newspaper and then do some other reading. Let me know when you decide you want to go."

"Will do." she says cheerily.

As he sits down in one of his chairs with his newspaper to read he watches her moving around doing things and after a while, he decides that it seems like a good time to try talking to her. Calling out to her as she continues moving about he asks her "You never told me, how did you like cooking with Kate? Hey! That'd make a great show title!" Putting on a 1940's announcer voice, his voice booming with resonance he says in a loud announcer manner "Welcome to another episode of _Cooking with Kate!_ On today's episode you'll learn how to de-bone a chicken, field strip a Glock-17 and sweat a confession out of a serial killer. But first, these words from our sponsor, Big Bob's outlet for all your needs, from camisoles to curry powder to hollow-point cartridges. Come to Big Bob's, open from sunup to sundown, that's Big Bob's."

"You do realize that she'll de-bone _you_ if she hears that, right?" the girl warns him.

"I know but I have to have _some_ fun. So anyway, how was it with her in the kitchen?" he asks turning serious again.

While still moving about she carries on the conversation "To tell you the truth, I was a bit nervous at first. I didn't know what to expect. I've been around her a lot but not in that setting and I was just unsure of how it would go. It turns out it was a lot of fun and she was easy to work with. I was sort of surprised afterwards, I didn't think it'd be that comfortable that quickly with her. I think it was easy to work with her as it is Grams when we cook together. We also talked a lot about things and that was nice. You should have seen her face when she saw the ice-cream in the freezer, it was priceless."

"I'm sure. I'm so happy that you two had fun and enjoyed it. You seemed to be more cheery when we finally sat down for dinner."

"I was, we talked about... well, we talked about a lot of things and she told me some stories. I think she understands this situation better than anyone. It was nice to be able to get my mind off of things in a comfortable setting. _Hey! _That's _it!_ I'll cook! I can make Eduardo and the others some cookies! Kate can take some into the precinct for the others!"

"I officially volunteer my services as an experienced cookie taster to help you." he says smiling and raising his hand.

"This is a great idea!" she is bubbling with enthusiasm as she heads into the kitchen to look for supplies.

"I'm glad you like it. Can you hunt and talk at the same time?"

"Huh?" she asks looking up suddenly from a cupboard.

Speaking slowly and succinctly he says each word, one at a time, "Can...you...hunt...and...talk...at...the...same.. .time?" to tease her.

"Oh aren't you funny! Yes! I can talk and hunt. What do you want?" she responds with loads of sass in her voice.

"So it seems that this morning's event wasn't that much of a setback."

"It seems that other than the adrenaline it doesn't leave much residual effects. I'm jumpy but I think that's the adrenaline I won't know until after we talk to the doctor." he hears her say with her head buried in another cabinet.

"Good I'm glad. Did you call your grandmother?"

"Yes, I told her what happened and I could hear her start to freak out but once I assured her that I'm alright she sounded better. I told her that I won't be up for our planned outing today but that we'd try again soon she was okay with that."

"That's good. How'd it go talking to the Dean at school?"

"She asked me if my dad made up the story to get me out of school for something. She's quite nice and funny too. I've told her before about your excuse notes that you used to write me. When I sent her the press release she was dumbfounded. She told me that the school has counseling resources available if I want to use them."

"That's excellent! That may be another thing for you to utilize if you need the help." he says happily.

"I think so, if I end up at campus and get knotted up on something, it might be a good relief valve for me."

"What about your school work?"

"I'm not really sure yet. She said that she will discuss it with my teachers and see what work I can take home and what I'll have to show up for. She asked me if we had enough of a video setup here so that I could take a written exam infront of a camera so someone could proctor if needed. It was more of a what if question. She wished me well of course."

"That's good! I think you know that I'll do whatever is needed to help you with it. Even if I have to donate a video system to the school for the purpose."

"I know and thanks. Um.. Dad? What happened to the big bag of chocolate chips?" she says looking into the 'fridge.

"I um..." he starts to say.

"**Dad!** You didn't eat them again did you?" she scolds.

"Well..."

"I'll take that as a yes." she says abruptly "I put that bag in here for cooking! I wanted to keep them for my next batch of cookies."

"I'll get more today." I assume you're going to have a shopping list for me so just put that on the list.

"I guess I'm going to have to aren't I. You do that again and I'll tell Kate." she scolds.

"I get it! Okay! I won't do it again!" he concedes.

"I don't know what we're going to do with you." she mumbles as she continues to prepare for her tasks. "Any idea how long it'll take for us to get to Doctor Stewart's office?"

"No, not for sure, I'd just take a guess at a half an hour in case we hit any problems."

"Okay, that's what I thought. I've got a list for you but I won't start cooking until tomorrow so you'll have some time to get everything, and _do not_ eat the chocolate chips _**again!**_"

"Sheesh! I get it! I'll probably do it tonight, give me an excuse to waste some time wandering around the store." he answers still engrossed in his newspaper.

"Since when did you need an excuse to waste time?" his daughter asks.

"Since I got scolded for munching on the chocolate chips in my own refrigerator." he quips. "Have you heard back from Sarah? Kate said you were going to try to reach out to her today."

"I left her a voicemail and sent her an email. I don't want to be a pest so I'm going to give her a few more days before I try again. Just based on the conversation I had with Kate, Sarah might be feeling some of this worse than me so I'm trying to give her a chance to respond at her own rate."

"Good. Smart move. I'm sure she'll get in touch with you sooner or later. Don't be upset if it takes her a while. Where her father has political enemies, her parents might be a lot less willing to let her out of their sight than I am."

"Are you trying to tell that you might _not_ be the most over-protective parent on earth?" she laughs.

"Ha ha little girl."

"I know why you're protective and I love you too. I am trying to not be difficult about it." she says looking at him now across the breakfast bar from the kitchen.

"I know Pumpkin, I know and I appreciate it as does your grandmother and for that matter, Kate does too."

"I know." she says softly.

"Hey, would you think it's a bad idea to try again and see if I can make it? I'd rather not wait until the last moment to call Doctor Parish if I'm going to cancel on her."

"You're right of course. I'll get my stuff again and call Eduardo." he says standing up and folding his newspaper.

"Why Eduardo?" she asks, a bit of embarrassment still showing.

"He asked me to let him know when we were ready to come down, he said he'd use override and make sure the elevator didn't waste time or get stopped in either direction. When I thanked him he reminded me that he's a father too."

"I guess I'll have to make a double batch of cookies for him and his crew." she says slightly sheepishly. "Let me go get one thing and we'll go."

"Whatever you say dear." he answers sitting down at the breakfast bar as she runs up the stairs. Dialing his phone "Eduardo. Yes, Richard Castle, we're ready to come down in about four minutes." ... "Thank you." as he hangs up his phone.

She comes down the stairs with something in her hand "I forgot my emergency battery for my phone. I charged it last night."

"Oh, so _now_ you don't think it was a stupid thing to get you." he laughs then in a girly voice "Oh _daad,_ why would I need something like this, you're just being paranoid."

"Okay dad, get off it. I admit it wasn't such a bad idea."

Continuing in the girly voice "_Daad_..."

"Father, zip it!" she snaps at him but smiling.

"Okay okay." he concedes as they both don their coats. "Let's hit the road." he announces as he opens the door for them both.

She walks up to the threshold and takes a deep breath to fortify herself.

"Alexis, don't assume it's going to be a problem before it happens. You don't want to psych yourself into trouble."

"I know dad I'm just trying to make sure that I've done everything else so I can just pay attention to the important stuff, I don't want to be thinking I forgot something or such and have that throw me off."

"Okay, good girl. When you're ready." he says standing next to her and waiting.

"Let's go! Or, being a Castle, should I have some clever declaration such as _Onward to victory_?" she laughs as she goes out in the hallway with him behind her.

"Any of those will work. Oh, there's Eduardo now."

"Hi Eduardo! Thanks for doing this for us." she says to the doorman holding the elevator for them.

"Think nothing of it Miss Alexis, it is my pleasure. I'm glad to see you feeling better."

"Yes, a little thank you. I'm sorry if I gave you a scare earlier." she says still embarrassed turning to face forward in the elevator but not looking at him.

"No need to thank me Miss Alexis, I'm just happy that I was there and able to help you when you needed it. How about you Mister Castle, any gray hairs come out yet?" the door man says smiling.

He laughs and pats Eduardo on the back knowing he understand a father's angst.

"Here you go Miss Alexis, the lobby. I parked your car right outside the door for you. Here are the keys Mister Castle." he says holding them out.

"Eduardo, you're a prince. Thanks again for everything." Castle says taking them and shaking his hand.

"I'll hold the elevator until I see you drive away sir. Miss Alexis, please take it slowly and feel better please."

"Thank you so much Eduardo!" Alexis says giving him a gentle pat on the arm as they exit into the lobby.

"Here Alexis, I'm still letting you drive." he says handing her the keys as they go out the doors.

"Thanks dad." she says getting behind the wheel.

Eduardo watched as the two climbed into their car and drove away.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_** (From Chapter 16)  
I just want to apologize. This has been the most infuriating chapter I've had to write yet. All those other things that I've doodled have been cake-walks compared to this foolish chapter. Nothing wants to come out and any that does is **_crap_**. If it fails to meet your expectations, I'm sorry, it has let me down too. Just to illustrate the lengths that this chapter has gone to mess with me, I've had it in the works for more than a month and it has caused me to hold on to chapter 15 until I figure it out.


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